Caricature : wit and humor of a nation in picture, song and story

OF A NATIO SONG &STORYPICTURE, ILLL3TRATED BYAMERICA'S GREATEST ARTISTS EDITIONSPECIALPresented to the LIBRARY theof UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO by Dr. Charles GodfreyCARICATURE (TWELFTH EDITION) WIT AND HUMOR OF A NATION IN SONG AND STORYPICTURE, Illustrated by Grant E. Hamilton ConacherJ. W, M."Zim" Good H.E. Flohri M. Wilder Art CassellYoung Jno. S. HyA. MayerDaggy C.M. J. TaylorFlaggJ. T. S. AllenT. S. Sullivant Bob AddamsR. F. Outcault AlbertStanlaws LeveringPenrhyn Malcolm StraussNankivelF. F. H.Werner Ladendor,S. Dirks Charles"Gus" Sarka R. S. BredinF. L. Fithian Albert"BB" Baker Bloch H. Smith Bert LevyJ. V. A.Adamson SobodaSydney Newell LewisPeter Fred Frank Geo. Herriman Gordon GrantH. C. Greening Snapp Arthur Lewis Geo. R. Brill C. KnowltonC. T. Anderson Poems and Stories by Tom Masson Edwin L. WellsSabin CarolynBurges Johnson W. D. Nesbit Edward W. BarnardW. Henry TyrrellLamptonJ. Frank H. Brooks andMunkittrick othersR. K. Eugene Geary LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY. 225 FIFTH NEWAVENUE, YORK 1911 Copyright, igos. by S25 FifthJmiee Company, Avenue, New YorkANOTHER ON THE WIRE. " I love Is there chanceKitty, you. for me ?"any" I'm but the line 'ssorry, Jack j busy."MR. HICKET RETIRES William John Barr MosesBy a rather it in adidn't look it. He was tube and ad-HICKET form, placed pasteboard mailing with a low dressed it to thestout, flabby, middle-aged man, clergyman. black blood- Other letters contained fees of various sizesMR. small, blue, fromforehead, oily hair, an men and women who wished to beshot nose, lips, big young youngeyes, angular puffy taught bluish mottled red and or or the art of adver-a white, purple, journalism, short-story writing,ears, complexion teeth. He orof tobacco-stained or or orand a mouthful irregular, tising, acting, oratory, magnetic healing, tied to a black or some other art or science ofof skeleton cord,wore a nose-glasses astrology, makingpair money and loud in their without work from older men andand his which had been ; asclothes, flashy quickly women, and decorated with well as who sent of theirwere now younger ones, hand-time, wrinkled, misshapen specimens Mr. Hicket didn't look but he or the date of their and wished to knowand dandruff. it, writing, birth,grease a a financial a what fortune awaited or wished advice in the mat-was bureau, bureau, correspond- them,literary ter of orence an a matrimonial stocks or whoastrologer, exchange, purchasing making investments,university, a few other of the same wished to with ladies ora and matri-handwriting expert, things correspond gentlemen or who trusted to Mr.character. Hicket'smonially inclined, greatgeneral his work over the abilities for else. The letters came fromMr. Hicket allbegan day's by looking something the letters this there was one over the United save for a five-hundred-milemail. morning States,Among al-a in zone around the Mr. Hicket didn't adver-from Arkansas, complaining that, safety city.young lady she had taken Mr. Hicket's ten-dollar course in tise in that five-hundred-mile zone. His was athough strictly course in short- and he didand his not care to havetwenty-five-dollar correspondence business,journalism, per- and his fifteen-dollar course sonal interviews with his clients and Most ofstory writing, post-graduate pupils. came back from the them were and five hundred miles ofherbesides, manuscripts magazines poor, railway journey with the same as of and was sufficient to them atyore,promptness accompanied keep bay. littlethe same while the news- Mr. Hicket was a man who had made thepolite slips, lazyby very great returned her beas a neither nor that labor can minimized method andrule, manuscripts, discoverypapers, by the that He had in hisstamps accompanied regularity. her checks in officenor sent thousands ofthem, printed Mr. Hicket an- and letterstheir stead. in imitationslips, swered this letter with a fit to answertypewriting, which an- almost commu-printed slip, any possible nounced that the Universal nication which his numerous andSchool of Journalism advertisements might bring was inShort to and he carefulStory Writing him, kept the hands of a andreceiver, lists of all of his patrons. that the whereabouts of the It took him aboutusually was un-former two hours toproprietors andget through known. answer a and theday's mail, The next letter contained two hours chosen for this a check for ten dollars from labor were from seven until a clergyman nine in the Thesimple-minded morning. in the sameNebraska, being rest of the and Mr.day night a in advance forthepayment Hicket devoted to cashing of doctor of checks receiveddegree philoso- the and which thephy, clergyman the Thespending money. had earned inby completing, letters on his doorlarge gilt nine the threemonths, years' said of the nature ofnothing course of outlinedreading his and an-business, merely the of theby professors nounced that his office hours Hicket Uni-Correspondence from ten to twelve andwere Mr. Hicket drewversity. from one to three. This was from a drawer of his desk another precaution against an elaborate orna-blank, undesirable callers. mented with andgold red, On this morn-particularA WOMAN'S CHOICE. and several imita- "bearing wellMr. Hicket wasWould like inga ?"you pretzel, lady" tion filled it in dueseals, up Ye. I'll take characterthat one on the bottom of the stick." with thefix-out of his head, gazingeyes bulging callerat the six'-shooter which hisedly had whisked into view.suddenly re-"I want shemy money back," peated. " How how much is it?" inquired Mr. Hicket tremulously. "Ten dollars for the course in jour- for the coursedollarsnalism, twenty-five forin fifteen dollarsshort-story writing, and three hun-the post-graduate course, anddred dollars for farerailway expens- dollars alto-es three hundred and fifty gether." Mr. Hicket thought quickly. " refund allWe make it a rule to hefees in case a ispatron dissatisfied," ' ' is it not a lit-said but butblandly ; tle exorbitant to ask for railwayyour did not writefare in addition? Why you notif felt that wereyou you receiving full value for your money?" the irate"Write!" exclaimed lady. written and"Write! I have written, received answersand I've enough printed a room butto letters to with,my paper andno I want back,money. my money too! YouI want my expenses paid, hear me?" " said Mr. HicketdearMy madam," "we shall do whateversoothingly, you Pardon me one moment.think is right. into the treasurer's officeI'll just step and theget money." and toHe rose as he spoke stepped His hat and coat besidethe door. hung reached for them with one handheit; door knob with the other.and for the cried the"Hold up!" lady suspi-HOPE DEFERRED. ' ' " What are hatciously. you taking yourAm I to madam ?"going marry my affinity, " miss but first will be to a husband." is the treasurer's office?"are, ; for? WhereMaybe you your marriage across the"It's in the building " Hicket. You in aof his mail. He whistled as he the last Mr.softly opened street," explained see, big city at and the much to rent differentof the letters. He felt with himself like we find itpeace this, cheaper safe from fraud orders and in- instead of one wholeand offices where we canworld, skeptical get them, truders. building." He was startled from his the then about hersheequanimity by opening "Oh, indeed," sniffed; glanced " of the door behind and a female and sat Hicket's chair. bet-him, raucous, down in Mr. Well,by voice, you'd which ter tricks. If doand don'tinquired, hurry, you try any you you'll "Is this the Universal School of Journalism and and I'm to havebe I want it,sorry. my money, going Short too."Story Writing?" Mr. Hicket round in his chair and con- murmured Mr. as heHicket,swung slowly "Certainly, certainly," fronted the visitor. She was a Amazon of a fled for the too anxious to wait for the ele-strapping stairway, with reddish a hooked thin vator.woman, pale, hair, thin, nose, " and freckles. he much when he reachedrelieved,lips Well," sighed, ""This is the he said the that a Jim She wantsmerely correspondence office," Dandy, hey?street, girl's " I am the her does she? she'll want it a lot worsecautiously. merely corresponding secretary." Well,money, said the "I'm before she sees me She can wait there until she"Well," Amazon, striding nearer, again. and I wantfrom Montana, back." tired and to When shemy money gets hungry enough quit. goes " " If have Mr. Hicket for a lunch she'll find herself locked out. I theyou any complaints began slipped but with his mouth his catch as I came I won't back there untilsuavely, stopped abruptly, open, through. goafter and then I'll at six and to I mail and sentto-morrow, go o'clock, correspondence. opened your yesterdayday and to thosebefore I'll be moved out and into another office. the who did not send Ieight money back, money a them that were aJudas Priest ! if I have more such as that sent fraud. I lookedmany pupils note, telling you I'll retire." and sent a little to all ofthrough your books, too, epistle Mr. Hicket had in his the checks customers. I was apocket, fortunately, your just pinning up sample copy received that and he now to cash for benefit when came in. Here it is."yourmorning, proceeded you them. The rest of that and the whole of the next he He took the she offered to him.day slip " " in a thirst and in she murmured. I'vespent satisfying healthy gambling. Good-bye," got my money On the of the third he and marched himsomewhat and out of the room.morning day repaired, back," past later than he had to his office. He looked at the It read as follows: "Theplanned, slip. " I the old didn't off or Universal School of Journalism and Shorthope girl lug my typewriter Story Writing " he as he strode from the elevator is a fake. A fool and his are soon Yoursanything, reflected, money parted. toward the The door as Salliedoor. was Smith."ground-glass locked, truly, and he inserted his and started He was stillusual, then the wall. He closed hiskey opened it, leaning against back