Natural Rest for Addiction , livre ebook

“We’re all born with a beautiful mind, but without the owner’s manual for operating it! Scott Kiloby’s latest book, Natural Rest for Addiction , is the owner’s manual we’re all yearning to possess. Through simple, direct, and flawless instruction, Kiloby shows us how to navigate difficult emotions, obsessive thoughts, and addictive behaviors. And he exquisitely reveals how to experience our natural state of wholeness—which is already present, but so often misunderstood—in which true and lasting healing is present. I deeply appreciate Kiloby’s wise counsel that shows how lasting healing and true health can unfold, no matter our circumstances, through simply learning to rest in our natural wholeness.”
— Richard Miller, PhD , clinical psychologist, president of the Integrative Restoration Institute ( www.irest.us ), and author of The iRest Program for Healing PTSD
“Scott Kiloby has married deep spiritual insight with practical, doable tools to create a truly new paradigm in recovery. Using the Natural Rest method and the Compulsion Inquiry can bring about profound transformation even in addiction, usually one of the most intractable human challenges.”
— Fiona Robertson , senior facilitator and trainer of Scott Kiloby’s Living Inquiries, and author of The Art of Finding Yourself
“In Natural Rest for Addiction , Scott Kiloby brings his refined practice of present-moment awareness to the healing of addictions and other compulsions, teaching a gentle but deep self-inquiry whose ultimate goal is liberation.”
—Gabor Maté, MD , author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts , and cofounder of Compassion4Addiction ( www.compassion4addiction.org )

Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2017 by Scott KilobyNon-Duality PressAn imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.5674 Shattuck AvenueOakland, CA 94609www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Amy Shoup
Acquired by Jess O’Brien
Edited by Susan LaCroix
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file
This book is dedicated to my mother, Carolyn. With tears, love, and gratitude, I wish you the deepest eternal rest and peace.
Contents
Foreword
—Jeff Foster
Preface: My Story
Introduction: Freedom from Addiction
Natural Rest: Don’t Think, Just Do
Presence: An End to Endless Seeking
How to Use This Book
Presence as a Way to Recover
Not a Substitute for Rehab
Chapter 1: Natural Rest
Brief Moments of Rest
Noticing Words and Pictures
Bringing Attention to Bodily Energies
There’s Nothing to Chase
This Isn’t About the Future
Natural Rest Is Our Home
The Pond Metaphor
Key Points
Chapter 2: Cravings
When a Craving Arises First as Bodily Energy
When a Craving Arises First as Words or Pictures
Don’t Wait for Cravings to Appear
Key Points
Chapter 3: Obsession
Persistent, Intense, and Unconscious
Energy in the Body
Continuous, Involuntary Preoccupation with Thought
Freedom from Obsession
Stop, Notice, and Repeat
”Stop, Notice, and Repeat” in Practice
Key Points
Chapter 4: Self-Centeredness
The Endless Cycle of Seeking
What Are You Seeking?
The Self-Center
The Problem with Temporary Fixes
Key Points
Chapter 5: Relationship
Human Relationships
Bringing Natural Rest into Relationships
Resistance and Conflict
The Need to Be Right
Taking the Perspectives of Others
Key Points
Chapter 6: The Living Inquiries
The Compulsion Inquiry
How the Compulsion Inquiry Works
An Example of the Compulsion Inquiry
Notes About the Compulsion Inquiry
The Unfindable Inquiry
How the Unfindable Inquiry Works
An Example of the Unfindable Inquiry
A Few Helpful Tips
Undo the Velcro Effect
Keep It Simple: Three Elements, One Question
Using the Unfindable Inquiry on Addictive Substances and Activities
The Boomerang
Relationship as Mirror
How the Boomerang Works
An Example of the Boomerang in Conjunction with the UI
The Anxiety Inquiry
Explanation of the Anxiety Inquiry
An Example of the Anxiety Inquiry
Weaving the CI and the AI Together
A Note About Trauma
Key Points
Chapter 7: Dissolving Body Contractions
Connecting Addictions to Certain Body Contractions
Holding Back the Dam
Mapping Out the Tools
Beginning Bodywork
The Exercises
Metaphysical Hands
Making It Stay
Find the Pinpoint Within
Mining
The NOW Method
Key Points
Chapter 8: Misconceptions and Traps
Lack of Readiness
Measuring Progress
Mistaking Presence for Amnesia
Mistaking Presence for Escape
Substitution
Confusing Pleasure with Addiction and Compulsion
Turning Natural Rest into Busywork
Viewing Compatible Practices as Incompatible
Story Mind vs. Functional Mind
Unique Struggles
Misconceptions About Deep Rest
Mistaking Presence for Stagnancy
Making Presence into a Thing
Key Points
Chapter 9: Freedom
Acknowledgments
Resources
Scott Kiloby’s Websites
Appendix
Natural Rest Groups
Forming or Finding a Natural Rest Group
Servants
Anonymity and Confidentiality
Foreword
What is spiritual awakening? And how is it relevant to recovery from addiction?
There are so many books on the subjects of self-improvement, self-help, spiritual awakening, and addiction recovery available these days. So many methods, practices, programs, teachers, and teachings that often seem so very different, even contradictory. So many people promising us so much, and it can all be so confusing for people who are genuinely open to discovering true peace and rest in their lives.
There are so many questions...
Which method works best?
Can I just stop using my drug of choice without support from others or the help of a method?
How do I know when I’m recovering from addiction?
Is recovery just about being abstinent? Or is it something more than that?
Is spiritual awakening what I need to overcome addiction?
Is spiritual awakening an “event” that happens to some people and not to others?
Is awakening something that can be reached through methods at all?
It can get so exhausting, trying to figure all of this out with the poor little mind! But Natural Rest for Addiction clears away this confusion. If you are looking for a way to overcome addiction that is simple, accessible, and practical, yet deeply penetrating, then this book stands out from the crowd.
I have known Scott for many years now. He is a teacher who does not simply regurgitate concepts that he has learned from others. His words have been uniquely forged in the fire of his own pain. He speaks with authenticity and integrity from his own deepest experience, and teaches not by trying to be a teacher, but by being a living example of what he teaches. He is a rare breed—a teacher who actually lives and breathes his own message.
Scott speaks of recovery from addiction through spiritual awakening. But he expresses his message in such a practical, down-to-earth way that at first you may not even realize you’re reading a book about spiritual awakening! His words carry deep wisdom, but he avoids all those heavy, esoteric concepts found in the ancient scriptures and traditions. He also doesn’t overload you with mountains of intellectual knowledge about the science of addiction, but gently takes you by the proverbial hand and shows you a way out of the insanity of the mind, and its endless seeking for something more in the future. Through clear explanations and piercing inquiries, he shows you that the present moment is always, always the key to recovery. And he shows you how safe it is to dive headfirst into the moment, and to stay there. His method is a truly living meditation that you can take with you into every moment of your life.
Scott points you to the discovery of who you really are, beyond who you think you are—a vast, quiet, non-dual ocean of present-moment awareness that deeply and unconditionally welcomes all thoughts, sensations, and emotions, all energies of life, as they arise and dissolve in you. When you cease identifying as a limited, deficient, and separate “self” looking for freedom and peace in a future moment, you recognize the freedom that exists here and now—the very last place you’d ever think to look!
Make no mistake, this book will challenge your assumptions about addiction and recovery. And it will also challenge many of your deeply held beliefs about yourself and the world around you. Be prepared to let go of some of your cherished concepts about life!
Despite what common sense and conventional wisdom tell us, it is actually incredibly healing to stop running away from present-moment pain and discomfort, and to just sit with those energies as they come up in you, to welcome them as friends that are trying to help you or even awaken you, rather than as enemies that are trying to destroy you. However strange it may sound, much of our suffering comes not directly from our pain and discomfort, but from our attempts to escape that pain and discomfort in the moment.
Most of us attempt to distract ourselves from pain, or numb ourselves to it, or avoid, transcend, or even destroy it. We do this through thinking; through ingesting drugs, alcohol, or other chemicals; through shopping, working, gambling, or sex; through seeking external validation or love; through seeking money, success, self-improvement, or enlightenment; or even through seeking future recovery. As this cycle of seeking pleasure and avoiding pain takes over, it begins to run our lives. We end up swinging wildly between these polarities, caught in a continuous search for something more, never finding an end