Are We Done Fighting? , livre ebook

Praise for Are We Done Fighting?
A fresh, studious and very readable book on how to live peace in today s chaotic world. Matthew Legge s helpful hints for individual or group action are in the best Quaker tradition.
-Hon. Douglas Roche, O.C., former Senator and former Canadian Ambassador for Disarmament
No, we are not done fighting, but we can fight in a better way. This book tells you how.
-Johan Galtung, founder of the academic discipline of Peace Studies, and founder, Transcend International
I recommend this extremely inspirational, accessible study book with its extensive practical exercises. I love the way it accepts that peace is possible, so in an interdependent world, it is everyone s responsibility to create positive change that fosters sustainable peace.
-Professor Elisabeth Porter, University of South Australia
This book is a joy. [it] offers new material (stories and science) to those who have been doing this work for years, and a great way into peace for those just getting started. I especially appreciate the group discussions and exercises. No one should do peacework alone!
-Stephanie Van Hook, Executive Director, Metta Center for Nonviolence
an invaluable contribution to the ongoing quest to ensure peacemaking rather than violence is utilised to resolve conflicts, be they between individuals, groups or nations.
-Andrew Feinstein, author The Shadow World: Inside the Global Arms Trade
This transformative book presents a refreshing and innovative exploration of how to visualize and actualize peace in global society, in our families and relationships, and in our own minds.
-Douglas P. Fry, author, Beyond War , and co-author, Nurturing Our Humanity
a much-needed antidote to the risk of depression and despair. In page after page, and with a multitude of sources to back up the arguments, Matthew Legge gives us plenty of hope stemming from experience.
-Paul Rogers, Emeritus Professor, Peace Studies, Bradford University, UK
This is the book many peace, justice, and reconciliation advocates have waited for. Enabling, practical, and clear-minded, Matthew Legge offers readers-individuals or groups-a road map to transform our deepest conflicts.
-Paul R. Dekar, Emeritus Professor and co-founder, Peace Studies program, McMaster University, Canada
exceptionally valuable and timely Matthew Legge offers practical solutions that make a difference in our own lives and in the broader communities that surround us. Not only to be read, but put into action.
-Alex Neve, O.C., human rights lawyer and Secretary General, Amnesty International Canada
For those who are working to decrease the madness of violence and increase the sanity of peace, lock arms today with Matthew Legge. Tomorrow is too late.
-Colman McCarthy, Director, The Center for Teaching Peace, Washington D.C.

Copyright 2019 by Canadian Friends Service Committee.
All rights reserved.
Cover design by Diane McIntosh.
Cover illustration: iStock: iStock-179520278
Printed in Canada. First printing April 2019.
Inquiries regarding requests to reprint all or part of Are We Done Fighting? should be addressed to New Society Publishers at the address below. To order directly from the publishers, please call toll-free (North America) 1-800-567-6772, or order online at www.newsociety.com
Any other inquiries can be directed by mail to
New Society Publishers
P.O. Box 189, Gabriola Island, BC V0R 1X0, Canada
(250) 247-9737
L IBRARY AND A RCHIVES C ANADA C ATALOGUING IN P UBLICATION
Title: Are we done fighting? : building understanding in a world of hate and division / Matthew Legge.
Names: Legge, Matthew, 1983- author.
Description: Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: Canadiana (print) 20190080531 | Canadiana (ebook) 20190080558 | ISBN 9780865719088 (softcover) | ISBN 9781550927016 ( PDF ) | ISBN 9781771422970 ( EPUB )
Subjects: LCSH : Conflict management. | LCSH : Peace. | LCSH : Interpersonal relations. | LCSH : Reconciliation. | LCSH : Peace of mind.
Classification: LCC HM 1126 . L 44 2019 | DDC 303.6/9-dc23

New Society Publishers mission is to publish books that contribute in fundamental ways to building an ecologically sustainable and just society, and to do so with the least possible impact on the environment, in a manner that models this vision.
Contents
Foreword by George Lakey
About Quakers and the Author
Introduction
Using This Book
Activity: Learning Contract or Journaling
Activity: Your Values and a Special Person
Activity: Your Strengths
Section 1: Peace and Power
1. What Peace is Not
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: Group Ideas - What Peace is Not
Example: Experience Changes Beliefs in Kenya
2. Us and Others
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: Transforming Bias
3. Power-over
Tips from This Chapter
4. Power-with and Power-from-within
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: Walk Around
Activity: Find Your Power-from-within
5. Process and Change
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: Meeting an Unsympathetic Politician
Section 2: Communication Skills
6. Firm Belief
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: Decision Making
Activity: Our Position
7. Treating Emotions with Care
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: Making Connections
8. Communication
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: Rewording a Conflict
Activity: Concentric Circles
Questions for This First Concentric Circles Activity
9. Conflict
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: What Would You Need?
Example: Who Gets Recognized?
Section 3: Violence and Interpersonal Peace
10. Seeing Violence
Tips from This Chapter
11. What s Natural?
Tips from This Chapter
12. Safety
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: Accepting Everyone
Example: The Nashville Sit-ins
13. When Hate Rises
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: Violence
Example: Sammy Rangel
14. Violence in Social Change
Tips from This Chapter
Example: Elections in Idlib City
Activity: Four Elements
Activity: Follow the Leader
15. Who Benefits?
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: Mainstream and Margins
16. Oppressors and Victims
Tips from This Chapter
Example: Pronouns
Activity: What s Changed So Far?
Section 4: Inner Peace
17. Connection
Tips from This Chapter
18. Changing Ourselves
Tips from This Chapter
Activity: Kindness Meditation
Activity: Gratitude
Section 5: Structural Peace
19. Who s Dreaming?
Tips from This Chapter
20. Just War, Just Peace, and Responsibility
Tips from This Chapter
Example: Healing and Rebuilding our Communities
21. Unarmed Civilian Protection
Tips from This Chapter
Example: Bear Clan Patrol
Activity: De-escalation on the Subway
22. Mediation
Tips from This Chapter
Example: Concerned Citizens for Peace
23. Peace Education
Tips from This Chapter
Example: Power-with the Smallest Children?
Activity: Peacebuilding Dreams
Activity: What is Peace?
24. What Peace Is
Tips from This Chapter
Appendix 1: What We Mean by a Culture of Peacebuilding
Appendix 2: The Basics of Facilitation
Notes
Index
About New Society Publishers
Foreword
by George Lakey
Matthew Legge has given us a considerable gift: guidance for expanding our capacity as peace advocates. Whether this is our first peace-related book or our fiftieth, reflecting on the issues raised here can increase our knowledge, skill, and confidence, even in situations when conventional wisdom insists that violence is the only answer.
In our world, violence is still promoted as a solution on many levels, including individual self-defense, community protection, challenging injustice, and international conflict. That means we can explore peaceful alternatives wherever we re most challenged by violence in our own lives. As we become aware of where we re stuck for answers, and experiment with ways of getting unstuck, we grow our capacity and courage. Because this book operates on multiple levels, it supports us on our way.
While teaching at Swarthmore College I encountered students who were concerned about the threat of terrorism and at the same time wondered if the war on terrorism was in fact recruiting more terrorists. I therefore offered a course completely focused on nonviolent responses to terrorism. I was deluged with students, who went on to develop nonviolent defense strategies for a variety of countries currently threatened by terrorism.
Back in the 1960s, even though many people were singing Give peace a chance, the institutional decision-makers remained sure that power = violence, just as the flat-earthers were sure centuries ago that safety depended on being able to sail near the coastlines.
Since then the old violence paradigm has become raggedy - Matthew Legge tells us that wars have almost never been won since the US invaded Grenada in 1983! But most decision-makers still cling to the old belief.
This is a Good News book, one that encourages new thinking and experimentation in more effective ways of relating to conflict. It contains stories that may surprise even people who have already sailed out of sight of the coastline to explore the possibilities of peace. More than that, the author is a coach as concerned to empower us as he is to fire our ima