What Kids Need Most in a Mom , livre ebook

As you anticipated motherhood, did you have great expectations? (And we’re not talking about big babies!) Perhaps the reality has fallen far short of your dreams. If so, take heart. Patricia H. Rushford offers encouragement and help for being the loving mom your kids need most.
You’ll find no magic formulas for becoming “Super Mom” or the perfect mother. Instead, this seasoned mother of two and grandmother of seven helps you to evaluate what’s really important in life. Then she offers creative ideas for sharing your discoveries with your children. You’ll learn to focus on such essentials as: trusting your life and your kids to God’s care being a servant mom without being subservient instilling forgiveness in your children getting out of the “guilt factory”
Patricia Rushford shows how to delight in the God-given privileges and responsibilities of motherhood. Better still, she gives you humor and hope for those times when there’s little to rejoice over. New moms … grandmoms … all moms are sure to appreciate knowing What Kids Need Most in a Mom .
© 1986, 1999 by Patricia H. Rushford
Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com
New Spire edition published 2008
Ebook edition created 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means for example, electronic, photocopy, recording without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-44123-331-8
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Scripture quotations identified KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations identified RSV are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1952, [2nd edition, 1971] by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations identified TEV are from Today’s English Version. Copyright © American Bible Society 1966, 1971, 1976, 1992. Used by permission.
Scripture quotations identified TLB are from The Living Bible © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.
Material from Have You Hugged Your Teenager Today? by Patricia H. Rushford, copyright © 1983 by Patricia H. Rushford. Published by Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
To David and Caryl and all of my wonderful grandchildren
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Introduction
1. Musings of Another Mother
Part 1 Mything Out on Motherhood
2. The Mythical, Mystical, Magical Mom
3. Real Moms Don’t Eat Baby Food
4. The Trouble with Super Moms
Part 2 The Treasures of a Mother’s Heart
5. If Time Were Diamonds
6. A Room Full of Memories
7. In the Heart of a Stone
8. Weaving in the Threads of Discipline
9. An Unexpected Tour of the Guilt Factory
10. The Playroom
11. The Library
12. The Throne Room
13. The Servant’s Quarters
Part 3 What’s a Mother to Do?
14. Mama Said There’d Be Days like This
15. Help and Hope for Working Moms
16. For Moms Who Stay Home
17. The Growth and Development of a Mom
Notes
Suggested Reading List
About the Author
Acknowledgments
A special thanks to all the moms and kids who shared their stories and ideas with me.
Introduction
When I wrote What Kids Need Most in a Mom in 1986, the managing editor of Revell said, “This book is destined to become a classic.” I hoped she was right, and as it turned out she was. I loved writing this bestselling book for and about moms. It was and is the book of my heart. As a mother of teenagers, I wanted to share my successes, give encouragement, and reduce the guilt and fear so many mothers have. I also felt it important to share my experiences, difficulties, and failures with others.
I’m thrilled that the book has been updated and released a number of times over the years. The amazing thing is that it is as needed today as it was when I first wrote it. Children continue to present challenges and parents continue to face them. I love having written What Kids Need Most in a Mom because it has been a help to so many mothers who are experiencing frustration and guilt, and who at times are desperate for someone to understand and offer practical help.
One such mother, whom I’d never met, called me one evening at the end of her rope. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m desperate and don’t see how I can go on anymore. I didn’t know who else to call. You see, I’ve been reading your book and I just knew you’d understand.”
She went on to tell me the problems she was encountering in trying to rear four children plus go to school and work. I listened with an empathetic ear and was able to give her reassurance and support. Before she hung up, she thanked me. Had I changed anything for her? Her problems remained much as they had been when she’d first called, but she could now go back to them with renewed strength, knowing she was not alone.
Another mom, whom I met while speaking at a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) gathering, told me she’d read my book during one of the lowest moments of her life. “I was sick and tired of parenting books that made me feel guilty,” she said. “A friend of mine gave me your book and told me to give it a try. I said I would, but warned her that if it didn’t help I was throwing it in the ocean.” She grinned. “It was great and you didn’t make me feel guilty. I recommend it to moms all the time.”
I certainly was not the perfect mom, and there are a number of things I would do differently if given the chance. Some years ago I confessed some of my shortcomings to my daughter Caryl. She chuckled and said, “You couldn’t have been all that bad of a mom. Look how great I turned out.”
I was and am a good mom for the most part. This I learned while getting my master’s degree in counseling and while seeing my children interact with other children. Over the years, I’ve experienced the joys and heartaches of seeing my children and grandchildren grow into mature adults wondering at times if they ever would.
I’ve been a mom for 44 years now. My children, David and Caryl, whom you’ll get to know quite well in this book, are grown with children of their own. This year, my darling daughter became a grandmother. Which, of course, makes me a great-grandmother. Madelyn Marie is the light of our lives. I’m so happy that at 63, I am young enough to thoroughly enjoy her. My husband Ron and I have seven grandchildren, all of whom we adore. Let me tell you, of all the things I have done well in my life, having grandchildren tops the list. They are wonderful. Being grandparents is God’s way of giving us another chance to enjoy and appreciate children while their parents do the hard work of rearing them.
As I write this I am in Grand Forks, North Dakota, staying with my daughter and her family. (By the way, this is one thing I would do differently: I would brainwash my children to live closer to me and not halfway across the country.) In a few days, my oldest granddaughter will be getting married and I am so excited that I can be here. Yes, she is Madelyn’s mother and I’m thrilled to be able to pass along occasional words of wisdom. Sometimes she even listens. I’d like to protect her from the struggles parents go through.
What Kids Need Most in a Mom is a book that not only offers practical help and advice, it also offers hope and encouragement. In the end, you will not be perfect. Despite what Mother’s Day cards tell us, mothers seldom are. However, I believe you will come out stronger and more self assured, and determined to be the best mom you can be.
Harriet Beecher Stowe said, “I long to put the experience of fifty years at once into your young lives, to give you at once the key of that treasure chamber, every gem of which has cost me tears and struggles and prayers, but you must work for these inward treasures yourselves.”
My prayer is What Kids Need Most in a Mom will help you to be the mom your kids need, and will help you enjoy the journey.
Blessings, Patricia H. Rushford
1
Musings of Another Mother
Becoming a mom comes easily enough for most of us. You get pregnant and poof, you’re a mother. Being the mom your kids need, however, is not quite so easy. While giving birth to a baby is considered labor, the true labor starts when you bring your baby home and begin the sometimes painful process of mothering.
Writing a book about kids and what they need most in a mom was not an easy task, especially for an imperfect mom. But there were thoughts and ideas I wanted to share, pitfalls I wanted mothers to avoid, stories I wanted to tell … so I set to the task, eager to get it all into my computer.
I’d no sooner started writing when the phone rang. It was my son, David, calling from California I live in Washington.
“Hi, Mom,” he said with a smile in his voice. “What’s up?” (He starts all his calls that way.)
“Nothing much,” I gave my usual answer.
“I got a new job.”
“Really? That’s good.” I was wishing he were closer to home and maybe going to college. But I didn’t say so.
“How’s Dad?”
“Fine. He’s playing basketball. He’ll be sorry he missed you.”
“Well, tell him I said hi … and that I love him.”
“I will.” I paused for a moment. “Dave? I have some good news. I’m writing another book.”
“Oh yeah?”
“It’s called What Kids Need Most in a Mom. Would you write a paragraph or two for me? You know, tell me what you needed most in a mom.”
I suddenly felt embarrassed, shy, and fearful.