Welcome to Adulting Survival Guide , livre ebook

Cover
Half Title Page
Previous Titles by Author
Welcome to Adulting
Title Page
Copyright Page
© 2019 by Jonathan Pokluda
Published by Baker Books
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.bakerbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2019
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-2160-2
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
Scripture quotations labeled NASB are from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB), copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org
Scripture quotations labeled NKJV are from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations labeled NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Some names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
The author is represented by The Gates Group of 1403 Walnut Lane, Louisville, Kentucky 40223
Dedication
To everyone trying to survive in the real world. Don’t go at it alone.
To Presley, Finley, and Weston. When you get there, your mom and I are here to help. I love you all.
Contents
Cover 1
Half Title Page 2
Previous Titles by Author 3
Title Page 4
Copyright Page 5
Dedication 6
Introduction 9
1. Embrace Your True Identity 13
2. Recovery 18
3. What Is God’s Will for My Life? 23
4. Questions to Ask When Navigating a Gray Area 27
5. Undulation 33
6. Your Love God Language 37
7. A Day of Rest 41
8. Let Your GPS Guide You 42
9. Compounding Interest 46
10. Freedom from or Freedom For? 51
11. Here’s a Tip 55
12. Getting Away with It 59
13. The Power of Habits 65
14. A Day of Rest 70
15. The Lonely Generation 71
16. Your Top Five 76
17. Can’t We All Just Get Along? 80
18. Unload the Weight 85
19. Our Mission 89
20. Time to Commit 96
21. A Day of Rest 101
22. Clearness Committee 102
23. Growing Young 107
24. I Choose Contentment 111
25. Before You Face Your Giant 115
26. Revolutionary Humility 120
27. Secret Agent 125
28. A Day of Rest 130
29. Worried for No Reason 131
30. The Antidote for Anxiety 136
31. The Warning Signal of Anger 141
32. If It’s Not Good, God’s Not Done 147
33. That’s Not a Donut, It’s Grace 152
34. Guard Your Heart 157
35. A Day of Rest 162
36. Power Along the Way 163
37. The Greatest Thing You’ll Ever Do 167
38. The Power of Being Faithful 172
39. To Fast or Not to Fast? 177
40. Live for Eternity 182
41. Get in the Wheelbarrow 186
42. A Day of Rest 192
Acknowledgments 193
Notes 195
About the Author 199
Back Ads 201
Back Cover 205
Introduction
As I was working on my book Welcome to Adulting , I hit a difficult spot. The book took off, which was cool, but I never anticipated it being so successful. Suddenly I found myself being invited to speak at more conferences and churches. At the same time my job responsibilities were changing, and I lost a valued coworker, which put even more responsibility on me. A loved one got sick while our kids’ activities cranked up. It was all too much and, for the first time in my life, I began experiencing anxiety.
The good news is that there is a lot of help out there for someone who is struggling. The bad news is that I didn’t know what help to choose. The options were overwhelming, and I almost felt like that increased my burden.
Simplicity
Finally, I found what worked for me. Simplicity . Every morning I focused on just one idea. I contemplated that idea, I meditated on it, and I looked to apply it that day. That simple focus helped me to survive that day. Soon I was out of the woods, no longer just hoping to survive but seeking to thrive in the abundant life Jesus offers his followers.
My prayer is that this book can provide the same help for you. You’ll find the format is similar to what I needed. There is one short, focused reading per day for the next six weeks. Each day you’ll also find a Bible passage to read, a question, an application, and a prayer. I hope this helps you put one foot in front of the other, allowing you to walk a path of faithfulness in the uncharted territory of adulting.
Real-Life Scenarios
Have you seen the survival guide for “worst-case scenarios”? It teaches you how to survive an anaconda attack and an avalanche. The chapters are interesting and humorous, but they present circumstances the average young adult will never find themselves in.
The book you hold in your hands (or are looking at on your electronic device) is filled with situations you will find yourself in. For each, you will find biblical advice based on a biblical worldview.
Pattern Recognition
For over a decade, I had the privilege of being the pastor of the largest young adult gathering in America. I’ve been able to observe the lives of tens of thousands of young adults. Watching that many people, I started to recognize patterns. I saw some choices that led to devastation and others that led people to move successfully into young adulthood.
I want to help you make wise decisions that honor God and put you on a path of not just surviving but thriving. My goal is that the truth of Proverbs 16:3 will become a reality in your life. “Commit to the L ORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”
Chapter 1 Embrace Your True Identity
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! –2 Corinthians 5:17
W hen I was a kid, I lived on a farm. One day, my dad asked me to get him the fence stretcher.
“The fence stretcher?” I asked.
My dad explained exactly where I would find it in the garage. I ran to the spot and looked, but no fence stretcher. I went back and told my father he was wrong. I explained, “The only thing there is my toy machine gun.”
My father gave me a confused look and started walking toward the garage, where he picked up . . . my toy machine gun. He showed it to me. “This is a fence stretcher.”
I gave my father a confused look. I wanted to explain to him that, no, what he was holding was the make-pretend machine gun that I had used countless times to shoot make-pretend bad guys. But I didn’t. I decided my father was wiser than me and was probably right.
Me
When I was a kid, I was thought of as a “future farmer.”
In my teens, as I got my ears pierced and got a tattoo, I became a “rebellious future farmer.”
In college, I became a “partier.”
After college, I started to pursue money and respect and I became “successful.”
The whole time, I didn’t have much interest in God. I would show up at church (I’m from Texas, where nearly everyone shows up at church), but I didn’t have much to do with God. It was easy. Why would a rebellious, partying, successful guy want to have anything to do with God? And, I thought, why would God want to have anything to do with a rebellious, partying, successful guy?
Then I started hanging out with some people who were really different. They were real, and fun, and caring, and cool. They were Christians.
They gave me a different way of looking at God. I discovered that he was a loving Father. I also learned that I was God’s beloved child. I wanted to explain to him that, no, I was actually a rebellious, partying, successful guy. But I didn’t. I decided my heavenly Father was wiser than me and was probably right.
Suddenly it didn’t make sense for me to not have interest in God or to ignore him. I was his child, I was loved, and I wanted to live my life in relationship with him.
You
If I asked, “Who are you?” how would you answer?
You might tell me your name, which is a nice sound your parents assigned to you, but it is not your identity.
If you’re in school, you might say, “I’m a student,” but what happens after you graduate?
Similarly, defining yourself by what you do, like your job title, only describes what you currently do for about forty hours a week. It’s not who you are.
There are other ways you might define yourself: by your hometown, your college degree, or a state championship you won, or as a “foodie” or a “shopaholic.” You might get hung up on something you’ve done in the past that you regret or that hurt you or others: you’re an ex-con, a divorcée, someone who had an abortion. But, again, that’s not who you are.
True You
When I was in college, before I became a Christian, one night I wanted to get into a bar in Dallas. I was underage but I had a plan. My roommate was twenty-one, and I would use his ID.
I confidently walked up to the bouncer and handed him the ID.
He looked at it, looked at me, and started shaking his head. “It says here that you’re five-foot-nine.”
I am six-foot-seven, so this wasn’t looking good. But I tried to play it cool. “That’s a typo,” I replied. “I’m five-nineteen.” (If you do the math, that actually works out to six-foot-seven. I’m a genius!)
He looked at the ID again and read the name, “Babak Ali Hadid.”
I hadn’t considered the fact that my roommate was Iranian and I was . . . not.
My plan didn’t work. My true identity betrayed the fake me I was trying to be. I was no mo