Welcome to Adulting , livre ebook

Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
© 2018 by Jonathan Pokluda
Published by Baker Books
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.bakerbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2018
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-1536-6
Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Some names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
The author is represented by The Gates Group of 1403 Walnut Lane, Louisville, Kentucky 40223
Endorsements
“In Welcome to Adulting , Jonathan Pokluda spends less time on the trivial and more time on the transformational. He points the way and gives advice on how to live an adult life that honors our Holy God. I love it! JP’s not worried about the adult ways of this world but rather the adult matters that are out of this world. Enjoy the ride.”
Kyle Idleman , pastor and author of Not a Fan and Grace Is Greater
“Jonathan so candidly and beautifully breaks down the myths of life after college and leaves us with a roadmap we’ll return to again and again, no matter how old we are.”
Jennie Allen , author of Nothing to Prove ; founder and visionary of the IF:Gathering
“I try to only listen to voices that are living what they are saying. JP is one of those. This book isn’t just an amazing book but also one that has been fought for and lived out and extracted from years of pursuing Jesus and helping others. I hope it blesses you as much as it did me!”
Jefferson Bethke , New York Times bestselling author of Jesus > Religion
“In the midst of confusion and half-truths, Welcome to Adulting is a Scripture-soaked survival guide. Read this book and drop your anchor in the blood-bought truth of Jesus.”
Nick Hall , founder and chief communicator for PULSE; author of RESET: Jesus Changes Everything
“There aren’t many leaders in America who have the experience working with the next generation like Jonathan Pokluda. I’m so grateful he’s put pen to paper on helping shape the future for so many who need a guide! Don’t miss this book!”
Clay Scroggins , lead pastor of North Point Community Church
“There is a reason that thousands of young professionals listen when Jonathan Pokluda speaks. He is a worthy guide for all who are navigating the tempestuous seas of young adulthood. I am grateful he has given this book as a gift to the world.”
Ben Stuart , pastor of Passion City Church, DC, and author of Single, Dating, Engaged, Married
“In a world full of self-help books with pages full of how-tos, it’s refreshing to see practical wisdom drawn from the deep waters of the Word. Pick up Welcome to Adulting and learn how to live in a way that makes life’s lessons so much sweeter.”
Shane Everett , Shane and Shane Music
“I have watched JP fight for these chapters over the last decade! Mostly in the pages of his own life. My prayer is that God would use them to bring healing and freedom in your life as he has in mine.”
Shane Barnard , Shane and Shane Music
“As a new Christian recently graduated from college, I found myself unprepared to deal with many of the monumental, life-altering decisions staring me in the face. In Welcome to Adulting , my good friend JP speaks truth into these challenges in a way that will make an adult life an abundant life.”
Brandon Slay , Olympic wrestling champion and executive director of the Pennsylvania RTC
“One day with Jonathan Pokluda and you will be changed forever. His love for Christ is undeniable, and he shares it with every person he comes in contact with. This boldness he displays daily is something all believers should experience, and this book captures that so well.”
Chad Hedrick , Olympic gold medalist and world champion
“JP speaks with clarity, candor, and conviction. You can’t help but sense that he has tasted and is daily seeking to feast on the freedom and fullness found in wholehearted pursuit of Jesus Christ. Welcome to Adulting is a unique, refreshing, and invaluable compass to anyone navigating the new waters of adulthood.”
Timothy Ateek , executive director of Breakaway Ministries
“Honest. Sincere. Real. This is who JP is and this is how he communicates. Combining personal experiences with wisdom from Scripture, this book will serve as a pathway to spiritual maturity. I highly recommend it for anyone serious about their spiritual growth.”
Jarrett Stephens , teaching pastor of Prestonwood Baptist Church and author of The Mountains Are Calling
“Jonathan writes from a place of passion for those moving into adulthood here and now. His insights are accessible and simple, and I would recommend this book to all parents and leaders who are tasked with bringing a new generation into adulthood.”
Casey Tygrett , author of Becoming Curious: A Spiritual Practice of Asking Questions
“I’m constantly amazed with how JP can tactfully show my generation how the ‘good news’ we’re so desperately chasing is utterly minuscule compared to the Good News. Welcome to Adulting is a guide that comes from a posture of vulnerable experience and biblical reassurance that God’s way is better .”
Grant Skeldon , founder of Initiative Network
Dedication

To my wife, Monica, for patiently adulting with me. To Christ-following young adults, you are the future of the church. The future is bright! To our church, Watermark, and the leaders there, thank you for displaying Christ to me.
Contents
Cover 1
Title Page 2
Copyright Page 3
Endorsements 4
Dedication 5
Introduction 9
Section One: Adulting with Purpose 13
1. Life: Don’t Miss It 15
2. Purpose: The Reason You’re Here 25
Section Two: Adulting Like a Boss 37
3. Authority: Who’s in Charge Here? 39
4. Work: Career Counseling 55
5. Money: It’s Not All about the Benjamins 71
Section Three: Adulting with Friends 91
6. Community: Your Playmates and Playgrounds 93
7. Conflict: The Right Way to Be Wrong (and Vice Versa) 111
8. Dating: Happily Ever After? 125
Section Four: Adulting Fearlessly 157
9. Worry: The Only Thing We Have to Fear . . . 159
10. Recovery: Leaving the Past Behind 173
Section Five: Adulting Forever 189
11. Eternity: Life in Perspective 191
Acknowledgments 213
Notes 215
About the Author 221
Back Ads 223
Back Cover 226
Introduction
*adulting (noun; mass noun informal): the practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks.
I had just walked across the stage in my cap and gown in Waco, Texas. Not at Baylor, the Baptist university you might have heard of, but at a small technical college just outside of Waco. My girlfriend came in from out of town. She was sitting beside my proud parents, who drove across the state of Texas to witness the occasion. They had financed the possibility of graduation over the years, and I’m confident the event meant much more to them than it did to me. In fact, I was a little distracted from the diploma I was holding, because sitting behind my girlfriend was another girl I had been secretly dating in Waco. And she had driven over with another girl whom I was also interested in. So my mind was stuck on how I was going to keep those two away from my girlfriend while still appropriately expressing appreciation to everyone for coming to my graduation. This “mess” was a microcosm of my life.
My mother was a school counselor, and she was the one who had found this technical college where they would teach me about graphic art and help me find a job upon graduation. Well, today was that day, and I was still waiting tables at Johnny Carino’s with no other job opportunities in sight. I didn’t mind it, though. Having to do art for a grade in all those classes pretty much taught me to hate art. Now that I was finished with college, I still wasn’t any closer to knowing what I wanted to do. I imagined I would do just about anything, as long as the job paid me enough money so that I could eat and party.
My life at this point was nearly void of faith. I went to a Catholic school from kindergarten through the eighth grade, and during sober nights in college (which were the exception) I’d usually go to sleep saying the prayers I had learned there. Outside of that, God and I were at odds. It wasn’t his fault, it was mine. I spent college doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Sometimes that included going to class and sometimes it didn’t. It never, however, included going to church.
Somehow, though, I had made it to this day. The last day I would ever have to attend school. The first day of the rest of my life. All I could think about, other than managing my relationship problems in the audience, was Now what? What am I going to do now?

It’s been sixteen years since that day, and my life has taken some very interesting twists and turns. I’ve gone from small-town kid to big-city adult, gotten married, become a father, and worked my way through several jobs. The most unexpected plot twist is what I do now: I’m a pastor at a large church (Watermark Community Church in Dallas). There, I lead The Porch ministry—a weekly gathering of thousands of young adults, both in Dallas and through live-stream services around the world. With over a decade of ministering to tens of thousands of young adults, I’ve learned so much about what some do to succeed at this crossroads and how some fail. Besides having my own experiences as a young adult, including making mistakes and ha