Rejoicing in Lament , livre ebook

© 2015 by J. Todd Billings
Published by Brazos Press
a division of Baker Publishing Group
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www . brazospress .com
Ebook edition created 2015
Ebook corrections 07.23.2019
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ISBN 978-1-4412-2290-9
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To those who cry out to the Lord amidst the fog
Contents
Cover i
Title Page iii
Copyright Page iv
Dedication v
Preface ix
Acknowledgments xiii
Abbreviations xv
1. Walking in the Fog: A Narrowed Future or a Spacious Place? 1
2. Sorting through the Questions: The Book of Job, the Problem of Evil, and the Limits of Human Wisdom 17
3. Lamenting in Trust: Praying with the Psalmist amid a Sea of Emotions 35
4. Lamenting to the Almighty: Discerning the Mystery of Divine Providence 55
5. Joining the Resistance: Lament and Compassionate Witness to the Present and Future King 75
6. Death in the Story of God and in the Church 93
7. Praying for Healing and Praying for the Kingdom 111
8. In the Valley: Toxins, Healing, and Strong Medicine for Sinners 131
9. The Light of Perfect Love in the Darkness: God’s Impassible Love in Christ 149
10. “I Am Not My Own”: Our Story Incorporated into Christ’s 169
Notes 191
Back Ad 201
Back Cover 202
Preface
Before my blood cancer diagnosis in September 2012, I never anticipated that I would write a book like this. This book was written during various stages of my cancer treatment process; that process has not ended but continues with chemotherapy as I write this preface now. Some sections of the book were written in the hospital. Other parts were written while I was in quarantine from public places because of a compromised immune system after a stem cell transplant. All of it was written amid the physical and emotional turmoil derived from both my cancer treatments and my new prospects as someone diagnosed with an incurable cancer at the age of thirty-nine.
In the first chapter, I describe the basic structure and format of the book and the way in which I intertwine my cancer story with the exploration of a much weightier story—the story of God’s saving action in and through Jesus Christ. I intend for that chapter to be the introduction to the book. But by way of preface, I would like to add a few comments about the background, genre, and intended audience of the book.
After my diagnosis, I prayerfully immersed myself in Scripture, especially the Psalms. New biblical and theological questions were becoming urgent. Since my diagnosis took place in the middle of a sabbatical semester of research and writing, I had the time and space to turn my attention to biblical and theological works that pursue these questions as I began chemotherapy. I was able to temporarily set aside some of my earlier plans for the sabbatical in order to do this. Quite naturally, some of my new reflections made their way onto my medical blog on CarePages.com. 1 And eventually, as chapter 1 narrates, I heeded the advice of those around me to expand my reflections into a book. I wrote the book not only for others but also as a part of my own process of coming before the presence of God in my new life after the diagnosis. I decided to honestly take on the tough theological and existential questions rather than dodge them. They are the questions that I live with. And frequently, they are the questions that other Christians who have experienced loss live with as well. There is an urgency underlying this book that is analogous to one that many viewers experienced in the 2013 movie Gravity . Dr. Ryan Stone, in desperate conditions, says it this way: “I know, we’re all gonna die. But I’m gonna die today.” I do not have the burden of an expectation of imminent death. But I do have an urgency to cut through to the most pressing questions with a different sort of expectation—a medical expectation that my death is likely to come much sooner than previously expected, that my hopes toward the future cannot be what they used to be. This is a loss not just for me but for my family, for my friends, for my community of faith. How does this sudden loss, which sinks in gradually, relate to the abundant life that we enjoy in Christ? Does Scripture give us the “answer” to our pressing questions about why this is happening, or does God give us something different—even better—than that through Scripture? How do the psalms of lament, the book of Job, and the New Testament witness to Jesus Christ and life in him testify to the loving power of the Triune God? The most potent questions, when one pushes deeply enough, are ultimately not about our experience but about the story of God made known in Jesus Christ.
While I explored these questions as a scholar in my reading and later in my writing, I knew from the outset of my writing that this book would not be a scholarly monograph. Instead, I sought to give a window into my life as a newly diagnosed cancer patient as a step along a larger path of faith seeking understanding, a disciple joining with others to follow Jesus Christ. I do develop a set of biblical and theological arguments related to praying the Psalms, providence, and life in Christ as chapter builds on chapter in the book. But I do so in a way that relates my cancer story to the story of God’s promise and ongoing action in Christ, by the Spirit. For scholars, students, and pastors, the endnotes might be helpful in hinting at some of the larger academic issues that I have had in mind while writing this book. 2 But they are just hints.
Rather than writing just for an academic audience, I have sought to embrace a genre in this book that can speak to a broad range of Christians—including caretakers, counselors, and those experiencing cancer or some other loss themselves. The genre is not “easy reading,” for honestly bringing our laments as mortals before the face of God is never “easy.” Nevertheless, I have sought to make the book broadly accessible to inquiring Christians who struggle with questions about how the Triune God’s story in Scripture could possibly relate to their calamities of cancer or other trials that seem to leave us in a fog, in lament, and in confusion about God’s deliverance.
JTB Holland, Michigan January 2015
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Acknowledgments
The first and last word of the Christian life is one of gratitude. With regard to this book, I am grateful above all to our covenant Lord and his unrelenting love made known in Jesus Christ. This love is strong and steady and redemptive as we come before the throne of grace with our toughest questions, laments, confusion, and tears.
I am also grateful to God for the gifts of many scholars, pastors, and laypeople who have read portions of the book and have contributed to its refinement. I am responsible for the book’s final form, with all of its limitations, but I have received helpful input from several reading groups and individuals who read various parts of the manuscript at various stages. Special thanks go to Michael Allen, Khaled Anatolios, Carol Bechtel, Randy Blacketer, Jim Brownson, Ann Conklin, Robert Cosgrove, Chuck DeGroat, Michael Horton, Kelly Kapic, Brian Keepers, Dustyn Keepers, Matthew Levering, Rob Lister, Andrew McCoy, Suzanne McDonald, Brandon and Stephanie Smith, and Thomas Weinandy. Special thanks to the exceptionally hard work of research assistants who worked on this book at various stages of the process: Alberto LaRosa, Molly Mead, Stephen Shaffer, Kevin Slusher, and Brad Zwiers. Thanks also to Bob Hosack and the whole team at Brazos who have been enthusiastic supporters through the whole process of this book project.
In addition to those who helped directly with the manuscript, I am grateful for many—near and far—who have prayed and supported my family and me in so many ways since my cancer diagnosis. Thank you. I am especially grateful for the support of the community of Western Theological Seminary and my fellow members at First Reformed Church in Holland.
In gratitude, I offer this book as a gift to the church—may God use it for his glory.
Abbreviations CTS John Calvin, Calvin’s Commentaries , trans. Calvin Translation Society, ed. John King, 22 vols. (1845–56; repr., Grand Rapids: Baker, 1981) Inst. John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, 1559 , ed. J. T. McNeill, trans. F. L. Battles, 2 vols. (Philadelphia: Westminster, 1967) LW Martin Luther, Luther’ s Works , ed. Jaroslav Pelikan and Helmut T. Lehmann, vols. 1–30 (St. Louis: Concordia, 1955–86); vols. 31–55 (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1955–86) OF Our Faith: Ecumenical Creeds,