Path to Sexual Healing , livre ebook

© 2000 by Linda Cochrane
Published by Baker Books a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.bakerbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means for example, electronic, photocopy, recording without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-5855-8530-4
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
All quoted definitions are from Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, tenth edition.
Other Bible studies by Linda Cochrane
Forgiven and Set Free: A Post-Abortion Bible Study for Women
Healing a Father’s Heart: A Post-Abortion Bible Study for Men (with Kathy Jones)
I want to acknowledge our Heavenly Father for providing forgiveness through Jesus Christ, and the way for true transformation, and for giving us his Word as a light and the Holy Spirit as a guide.
This book is dedicated to all the men and women who went through the pilot study and lovingly submitted to the process of applying godly principles to their sexual lives. Without their perseverance, this study would never have made it.
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Endorsement
Dedication
Introduction
1 A Relationship with God
2 Resting in a Holy God
3 God’s Perfections
4 God Is Faithful and True
5 Changing Your Mind
6 A New Love Song
7 Changing Your Clothes
8 Turning Around
Back Cover
Jesus Christ is coming back for a bride, a bride that is pure, holy, and radiant. His bride will be beautifully dressed, without a spot, a stain, or a wrinkle. Her lanterns will be trimmed, filled with oil, and ready to light. Christ’s bride will be ready. Are you ready?
The church is the bride of Christ and if you are a Christian, you are part of his church. This study is designed to prepare you for Christ’s coming as your bridegroom.
Feeling like the bride of Christ may seem nearly impossible if you have been sexually wounded. Seeing yourself as holy, pure, and full of God’s light does not easily follow sexual trauma, one of the most soul-staining experiences of life. When a person has been sexually defiled, he or she may feel ashamed to stand in the presence of a holy God. Sexual sin leaves darkened spots of guilt on an innocent soul, and the self-confidence of victims of sexual abuse often collapses under the trauma of defilement.
In a similar way, standing before a holy God after having committed sexual sin is a frightening prospect. Our failures exposed by the light of his presence make us want to run and hide, a normal response of our sin nature. And we often feel more guilty about sexual sin than any other, even fearing to confess it to God. We try to hide it from our fellow sinners and we act as if our sexual life is hidden from God. It is not. He sees everything and knows everything. We cannot hide our guilt and shame from our holy God. If we are to be the bride without a spot, without a stain, and without a wrinkle, we must respond to his call for cleansing. He tenderly calls to us, “Come away, my beloved.” We must come out from hiding, get into his light, and face our uncleanness. There is nothing to fear when we long for his cleansing. In his forgiveness we can feel pure. In his presence we can feel acceptance.
Becoming the bride of Christ is a process of transformation. The holy Creator of our sexuality has a perfect plan for us and as he sanctifies us, we become more like the man or woman God created us to be. Being created in the image of God, we have his ways and his principles written in our hearts. We may choose to follow those ways or we may choose to go our own way. He does not force us to follow his sexual plans for us.
God’s perfect plan for our sexuality is for us to remain sexually pure before marriage. And when married, we are to remain monogamous and faithful to our partner. If you are married, his plan is for you and your spouse to have sex only with each other. If you are single, God’s plan is for you to abstain from sexual relations. Married or single, our thoughts, attitudes, and actions must be pleasing to God.
In God’s perfect plan there is no sexual perversion or abuse. But we live in a fallen and imperfect world. This study is for those who have fallen and not followed God’s perfect plan. It is also for those who have been victims of sexual abuse. The good news is God heals and forgives. If we know God’s standards and we do because God’s ways are written on our heart we know where we have fallen short. The negative impact of sexual sin on our soul is extensive, but there is a remedy. This study will help you find and apply that remedy.
God sees our sexual expression in marriage as a serious commitment and he wants to deepen our love and affection for our spouse as we grow older. God’s plan is that our love for our spouse will grow out of our love for God. If we commit ourselves to God and follow him with devotion, we will want our sexual life in line with his plans for us, a plan that is holy and pure and follows his ways. The sexual union in marriage is an act of worship to a holy God.
Sometimes people isolate their sexual life into a compartment separated from the rest of their life. God wants the whole of our life devoted to him. He wants our sexuality to reflect his presence in our life.
There are consequences for ignoring God’s perfect plan and going our own sexual way. Sexual sin is a sin against our own body and it is in our body that we bear the consequences of our sexual sin. There are also spiritual consequences to sexual sin. These consequences touch our soul. When we keep our sexual life separated from God, there are negative spiritual results that remain in our heart.
This Bible study looks at the spiritual consequences of sexual trauma and sexual sin. The goal is to allow the window of our soul, with all its pain and impurities, to be opened to God. In Scripture we find our God is one who longs to heal our wounds and purify our defilement.
This study is for the victim of another’s sexual sin as well as for the one who has committed sexual sin. It is for anyone who has ever gone his or her own sexual way and is now ready to go God’s way.
We are living in a time when sexual sin is ravaging the souls of our families. Incurable venereal diseases are on the increase. Date rape has violated the innocent. The wombs of women are being scarred by abortion. Uncommitted sexual relationships bear children with no roots or families, as men are losing their incentive to protect and provide for their offspring.
Dangerous abusive and stalking behaviors are on the increase. Infertility is on the rise due to undetected, untreated sexually transmitted diseases. Sexual assault has become so commonplace that we are no longer astounded by its epidemic proportions. Wounded people are turning to members of their own sex for comfort and safety only to find the emptiness of the homosexual lifestyle. Feeling hopeless about ever developing a truly loving relationship, many of us settle for something much less and miss God’s best for our sexuality. God’s desire for all his married children is that a tender, enduring love deepen through the years. And for his single children, God desires that they celebrate the blessings of the single life.
As the sexual revolution totters along, its crippled and maimed veterans are finding their way to our churches. We as a church must be ready to minister to those devastated by sexual sin in the world or in their own homes. Children of God are not exempt from the pain of sexual sin. They too can victimize or be victims of sexual abuse and violence. Being a Christian does not guarantee protection from being raped or abused. The church can welcome and care for the victimized. The church can help those who are guilty of sexual sin to repent and be cleansed.
It is my prayer that this study will deepen your knowledge of the perfect plan God has for your life. May you know the conviction and the comfort of the Holy Spirit, the forgiveness of our Savior Jesus Christ, and the healing offered through his Word.
How to Use This Book
This Bible study can be used in small, confidential study groups as well as in Christian counseling and ministry settings. It is recommended that the individuals or group meet weekly. Individuals should complete the lesson on their own before coming to the group session. Group leaders may want to allow some time at the beginning of each session for participants to share how the things they are learning impacted their lives during the previous week. There are also questions provided at the end of each lesson for group discussion.
There is no leader’s guide needed for this study because each question and Scripture builds on the previous question and each chapter relates to the preceding one. The questions are based on the New International Version of the Bible. Participants should write insights, commitments, and prayers on the pages provided at the end of this book or in a separate journal.
Because the subject is an emotional one, it may be difficult to do this study alone without the support of a group or counselor. The questions remind us of times we would rather forget. If you attempt to do this study alone and find that strong emotions arise, consider seeking professional Christian counseling. If you are determined to plow through this study on your own, enlist the support of a prayer partner. Choose someone with whom you can be honest and who will be honest with you.
This study is a good place to start for those who