Managing Your Anger , livre ebook

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
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MANAGING YOUR ANGER
Copyright 2018 Neil T. Anderson/Rich Miller
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97408
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-5825-7 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-7221-5 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Anderson, Neil T., 1942 - author. | Miller, Rich, 1954 - author.
Title: Managing your anger : experience restored relationships, complete forgiveness, and peace of mind / Neil T. Anderson, Rich Miller.
Other titles: Getting anger under control
Description: Eugene, Oregon : Harvest House Publishers, 2018. | Revised edition of: Getting anger under control / Neil T. Anderson and Rich Miller. copyright 2002.
Identifiers: LCCN 2017023233 (print) | LCCN 2017032841 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736972215 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736958257 (pbk.)
Subjects: LCSH: Anger-Religious aspects-Christianity.
Classification: LCC BV4627.A5 (ebook) | LCC BV4627.A5 A53 2018 (print) | DDC 248.4-dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017023233
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CONTENTS
Introduction
1. Anger and Physical Health
2. Anger and Mental Health
3. A Worthy Goal
4. Righteous Indignation
5. Mental Strongholds
6. Flesh Patterns
7. Healing Anger Wounds
8. Sins of the Fathers
9. Living by the Spirit
Appendix: Guidelines for Leading this Study of Managing Your Anger
Notes
Books and Resources by Dr. Neil T. Anderson and Rich Miller
About the Publisher
INTRODUCTION
A vast majority of Americans feel their country has reached an ill-mannered watershed. Nine out of ten Americans think incivility is a serious problem, and nearly half think it is extremely serious. Seventy-eight percent say the problem has worsened in the last ten years. 1 That poll was taken twenty years ago when the global economy was relatively stable, 9/11 hadn t happened, ISIS was an unknown, and smart phones were in their infancy. How are we doing twenty years later? Rage is today s ruling online emotion, so concluded a 2013 study of Chinese mini-blogging network Weibo-a platform that resembles Twitter and boasts twice as many users. Beihang University researchers examined 70 million Weibo tweets over a six-month period, sorting them by anger, joy, sadness, and disgust. Rage was the emotion most likely to spread across social media, with one angry post powerful and persuasive enough to negatively influence a follower of a follower of a follower. 2
We the people are ticked off. The body politic is burning up. And the anger that courses through our headlines and news feeds-about injustice and inequality, about marginalization and disenfranchisement, about what they are doing to us-shows no sign of abating Half of all Americans are angrier today than they were a year ago. 3 That article was published in January 2016, before Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were nominated to represent their respective political parties. The presidential debates that followed reached an all-time low in civility. Thanks to the Internet, the world had front-row seats to witness the embarrassing charade. Many Americans were fuming with anger at one candidate or the other, and their only outlet was to wait until election day and cast one vote against the candidate they least liked. It is unlikely that a singular act of voting would be enough to put away all anger (see Ephesians 4:31). Protests erupted immediately after Donald Trump was voted to be the president of the United States.
Unjustified anger has scarred the landscape of humanity ever since Adam ate the forbidden fruit. Anger that rips apart homes, businesses, and countries is not new. The media-driven escalation of anger is unprecedented. Our smart phones notify us immediately with every terror attack, school shooting, political scandal, race riot, police shooting, and anonymous tips from every Tom, Sally, and Joe, who are not even authorized to speak of such things. Uncensored airways are fueling the fires of rage, and tech-savvy children can view every rant on their smart phones. One mother wrote to us:
While you are at it, you might want to think about writing a book for angry teenagers. My 16-year-old daughter s anger has over the years slowly turned her mind away from Christ and toward the pop culture. Her situation is an ironic one that exists, I believe, in many homes where Christian school, church, and family values have been predominant. For her, the situation posed a dilemma. If she chose Christ, she would never fit in. If she chose pop culture, she jeopardized her relationships at home and with this distant God who doesn t care anyway, because He doesn t give me what I want. So she got stuck in angry defiance. At home, she acts out her anger. At school, she s decided to get rougher and tougher so that she won t be hurt.
Looking back, I see that I was clueless about the roots of anger and the consequences of wrong thinking. On the outside, it seemed like we were on top of the situation. Yet there were critical stages of anger that we didn t have the tools to see or confront. Now we are doing major parental intervention in her life. Hopefully, it isn t too late.
With the world spiraling into chaos, why doesn t God do something? Jonah was asking the same question 2800 years ago. Nineveh, the capital of Assyria, was sliding into a crevasse of immorality and cruel violence. Jonah was angry at the people for not repenting and angry at God for not bringing judgment upon them. He wanted God to destroy Nineveh. Unlike Jonah, God is slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, and one who relents concerning calamity (Jonah 4:2). The Lord zeroed in on the critical issue when He asked Jonah a question we need to ask ourselves: Do you have good reason to be angry? (4:4).
Suppose we are in the difficult, terrible ( NIV ), or perilous ( KJV ) end times that Paul said would come (2 Timothy 3:1). A time when people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God (2 Timothy 3:2-4 NIV ). Should we be angry like Jonah? Should we pray for God s judgment to come, or should we be like the Lord not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9)? What sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be destroyed by burning, and the elements will melt with intense heat! (2 Peter 3:11). Paul s description of end-time culture seems a lot like the world we are living in, but it doesn t have to describe you. God has already staged His intervention. He has done all He needs to do for us to repent. It is up to us to put aside all anger. Our responsibility is to follow Paul s instruction in Ephesians 4:25-27, 29-32:
Laying aside falsehood, speak truth to each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirt of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Every evening the sun will set on the unresolved anger of millions of people. The devil takes advantage of the opportunity, and the Holy Spirit is grieved. Anger will never completely disappear from our lives this side of heaven. Nor should it. There is a time and place for anger under control. Righteous indignation is a God-ordained stimulus for righting that which is wrong, but unjustified anger is the master of the defeated. If we desire to be angry and not sin, then we need to be like Jesus, and be angry at si