Knowing God, Knowing Myself , livre ebook

© 2010 Cecil Murphey
Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com
Revell edition published 2014
ISBN 978-1-4412-2547-4
Previously published by Regal Books
Ebook edition originally created 2013
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation , copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Other versions used are:
CEV—Contemporary English Version. Copyright © American Bible Society, 1995.
THE MESSAGE— Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson, 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
NIV —Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version ®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
NRSV —The Scripture quotations contained herein are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible , copyright 1989, by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the U.S.A. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
RSV —From the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1946, 1952, and 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the U.S.A. Used by permission.
TNIV— Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, Today’s New International Version ® TNIV ® . Copyright © 2001, 2005 by International Bible Society ® . Used by permission of International Bible Society ® . All rights requested worldwide.
A few names have been changed in this book to protect the privacy of the individuals.
Contents
Acknowledgments
Knowing God (An Introduction)

1. The Process and the Results
2. Our Unhealed Parts
3. Being Admired
4. About that Anger
5. Reexamining the Past
6. Too Much to Do
7. Rethinking Our Focus
8. Facing Others’ Problems
9. Those Grace Builders
10. Fixing Others
11. My Unacceptable Parts
12. When I Suffer
13. Do You Love Me?
14. Remembering and Forgetting
15. My Negative Feelings
16. Trusting Others
17. New Places, Old Problems
18. Helping the Guilty
19. All that Silence
20. Being Lovable
21. God’s Love for Me
22. Our Weak Wills
23. Among the Imperfect
24. Thoughtless People
25. Those Minor Problems
26. Furthering My Plans
27. Looking at the Unlikely
28. During the Bad Times
29. Before the Miracle
30. Needing Appreciation
31. Only to Understand
32. Three Forbidden Words
33. A True Friend
34. Teachers Teach
35. Our True Gifts
36. On Giving and Receiving
37. Looking at My Face
38. Hearing It Again
39. Things of Value
40. The Why Question
41. Your Love Lesson
42. Remembering Responsibility
43. Beginning Again
44. Comparing Ourselves
45. Convenient Compassion
46. My Superior Mode
47. Starting with Problems
48. Changing Others
49. “You’ll Like Paul”
50. Getting Our Attention
51. Keep Me Humble
52. About Phil
53. Just Say No
54. Secondhand Messages
55. “You Hurt Me”
56. Enough Appreciation?
57. Self-made People
58. The Devil Did It?
59. Reasons to Dislike
60. Setting Boundaries
61. Condemning Others
62. Forgiving the Unworthy
63. Difficult to Forgive
64. Being Alone
65. Victorious Living
66. My Improvement
67. Liking All of Me
68. My Favorite Prayer

Aphorisms
About the Author
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Knowing God isn’t a solitary experience. Others guide us in our spiritual growth. I owe much to many who have held my hand, challenged me, rebuked me, and especially those who loved me.
I could go all the way back to my childhood and my Sunday School teacher Marie Garbie, who loved me and prayed for me long before I opened myself to God.
Although it’s impossible to list them, I’m grateful to every one who nudged me closer to God. But most important, I have to thank Shirley, my wife. She taught me about God’s love and forgiveness before I married her. By her lifestyle she continues to help me know myself and to know God.
Knowing God
(An Introduction)
For most of my adult life, I’ve yearned to experience an intimacy with God. That search began in my early twenties when, as an agnostic, I underwent a profound spiritual awakening. In the process of discovering God, I also learned about myself. I went from calling myself an agnostic to becoming a serious Christian. Several years later, I realized that knowing God and knowing myself went together. We need both self-knowledge and divine knowledge to progress.
As I’ve continued to follow my spiritual journey, I realize that for those of us who seek to know ourselves and to know God, the path may be different but we have much in common. St. Teresa of Avila said it better than I can: “We shall never succeed in knowing ourselves unless we seek to know God.”
Most of my writing comes out of discoveries in my search for a more meaningful, authentic spiritual life. As I continue to mature, I’m aware how much I want to share with others who yearn for deeper self-knowledge and more of God.
I’ve hit many spiritual low points; my life hasn’t been one glorious, triumphant upward trek. In fact, I’ve learned most of my lessons through pain, failure and weakness. Although this constant yearning to understand the Lord has permeated my life, I take no credit for that: I believe that God has filled my heart with that desire. He has never given up on me nor allowed me to give up.
My conversion began after I read Paul’s quotation from Isaiah: “I have been found by those who did not seek me; I have shown myself to those who did not ask for me” (Rom. 10:20, RSV ).
I graduated from college with a major in religion, earned a master’s degree in education from a large university and went on to seminary for a second master’s degree. Although I’m grateful for the education, none of my academic background satisfied my spiritual yearnings. My instructors provided information, handed me research tools and encouraged me to think and read more. My soul continued to yearn for an increasing intimacy with the Divine One.
I served as a missionary in Kenya for six years. Those years transformed my training into practical living. During our time in Africa, I spent most evenings reading theology. Many other nights I wrestled with a burning desire to know God more. “Teach me, lead me, guide me,” was my frequent cry. Or I quoted Paul’s words, “That I may know him” (Phil. 3:10, RSV ).
For 14 years, I pastored congregations in the metro-Atlanta area. As I reached out to hurting people, I faced many of my own issues. While I struggled with my own problems as well as helping others, I slowly grew in my understanding of God.
I continue to read widely. Although I found much help from others who had blazed the spiritual trails before me, I realized I had to determine my own path and find my own process. Not everyone may consider my methods orthodox, but they work for me, and I’ve discovered a number of ways that have fostered my spiritual growth.
One major way I express my faith is by writing aphorisms—succinct statements that express things I’ve learned or want to learn.
I pray or meditate daily on my briefly stated petitions. I write them on three-by-five-inch index cards and pray such prayers. This method works for me, and I want to share it with others.
Each chapter of this book contains a prayer or an affirmation. For me, affirmation is a form of prayer. When I repeat such statements, I am petitioning God to make them a reality in my life. Each day I continue to pray them (and sometimes modify them) until I know they have become part of me or until God has granted me my petitions.
I’ll never arrive at a place where I know everything, but that’s still my goal anyway. I start to get close, and then unexplored spiritual areas cry out to me—and in some instances I’ve been shocked at my discoveries. As soon as I grasp a sacred truth and apply what I’ve learned, something new and unexplored occurs to me.
The constant challenges make my spiritual quest exciting, and it assures me that I may be closer to the original apostles, the ancient church fathers and Middle-Ages mystics than I thought. My language differs greatly and the issues I face seem outwardly different. But as I read their words and translate them into the modern world, I feel as if I have linked hands with them.
1
The Process and the Results
I used to be afraid to anticipate the abundance of joy and happiness that lay ahead if my plans came to fruition. What if it doesn’t happen? I’d ask, and that question would make me hold back. What if I work on this project, give myself to it totally, and it fails?
“What if I get a degree and no one hires me?” a student asked.
“What if I start an on-line store and I lose everything?” an entrepreneur asked.
“What if I fall in love and the relationship falls apart?” the eager young woman asked.
“It’s better to be sure it will succeed before I undertake anything,” I said.
I was wrong.
Success isn’t as important as we make it out to be. I’ve met a number of successful-but-miserable people.
For more than 20 years, I’ve been a co-writer and ghostwriter for celebrities. Having money or fame didn’t make any of them happy. They may enjoy life but it wasn’t because of outward advantages. Happiness and joy grow from within. But I didn’t always know that.
For years I heard clever sayings about how the journey was the reward and not the d