Befriending Your Monsters , livre ebook

Cover
Endorsements
Praise for Befriending Your Monsters
“So many of us are trained to run away from our fears. But what if running toward them is what will actually lead to life? Luke brilliantly weaves together stories and theology in a way that is compelling and beautiful and inspiring for anyone desiring to grow more into the likeness of Jesus day by day.”
Jefferson Bethke , New York Times bestselling author of Jesus > Religion and To Hell with the Hustle
“We all know darkness, but few of us know the gift that exists within the darkness. Luke shows us a way through our fears toward the gift of our truest self in Befriending Your Monsters .”
Fr. Richard Rohr , author of Falling Upward
“ Befriending Your Monsters helps you see that the darkness you fear might just also be a lifesaving warning. Luke’s mixture of humor and wisdom helps you go where you don’t want to go, so you can become all that God intends for you.”
Ian Morgan Cron , coauthor of The Road Back to You
“Fear can steal, but it can also save. This powerful book gave me practical tools to still my knocking knees, thaw my frozen feet, and face the monsters I didn’t even realize were lurking under the bed. More than that, it invited me to excavate the unexpected gifts hidden in the dark places where fear often foments. In an age when monsters are multiplying, I can’t recommend this book highly enough!”
Jonathan Merritt , contributing writer for The Atlantic and author of Learning to Speak God from Scratch
“Thanks to author Luke Norsworthy for giving us a great gift indeed by showing how we can face our fears, overcome the monsters that threaten us, and move forward into a life of virtue and vitality, a deeper, healthier life.”
The Most Rev. Michael B. Curry , presiding bishop and primate, the Episcopal Church
“Occasionally, an author finds a teaching opportunity amid the joys and concerns of a culture that allows for meaningful commentary regarding both what is and what could be. In a time when anxiety is falling on all of us, indiscriminately, and between necessary moments of grace, Luke Norsworthy has found a new and creative way to talk about fear. We need this book and, in particular, his gift for naming faith and its varied expressions as the appropriate antidote for a more holistic approach to our lives.”
Suzanne Stabile , author of The Path Between Us and coauthor of The Road Back to You
Praise for God over Good
“Luke Norsworthy’s inviting, accessible, and entirely enjoyable new book is an invitation to come to know God better. Or to come to know God for the first time. Highly recommended.”
James Martin , SJ, author of Jesus: A Pilgrimage and The Jesuit Guide
“Luke’s insight and humor come through his stories and theology in beautifully carved pieces we can savor long after the reading is over. Part memoir, part preaching, part amazing storytelling—it’s all a gift offered by a man of great faith who has chosen God over everything. Luke is an exceptional podcaster, pastor, writer, and friend. Read his book.”
Becca Stevens , author, priest, and founder of Thistle Farms
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
© 2020 by Luke Norsworthy
Published by Baker Books
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.bakerbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2020
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-2341-5
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright © 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations labeled Message are from THE MESSAGE, copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
Scripture quotations labeled NLT are from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Some stories, names, and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
Published in association with the literary agency of Daniel Literary Group, LLC, Brentwood, TN.
Dedication
To my four girls, with gratitude for showing me the light.
Contents
Cover 1
Endorsements 2
Half Title Page 3
Title Page 5
Copyright Page 6
Dedication 7
Epigraph 11
Foreword by Annie F. Downs 13
Section I Meeting Monsters 17
1. Fake Monsters, Real Fears 19
2. Into the Dark 39
3. Destroy 61
4. Deliver 81
Section II The Three Universal Monsters 95
5. Comparison 99
5.1 The Prop— More Than Me 101
5.2 The Pull— Identity Crisis 106
5.3 The Point— A Stable Scale 111
5.4 The Light— Your Lane 119
6. More 123
6.1 The Prop— I Need More 125
6.2 The Pull— Never Enough 130
6.3 The Point— Never Full 135
6.4 The Light— Gifted 141
7. Success 147
7.1 The Prop— I Am What I Do 149
7.2 The Pull— Losing or Loser 153
7.3 The Point— Not about You 158
7.4 The Light— Lose Yourself, Find God 166
Section III A Monster-Friendly Life 173
8. How (Not) to Dress for Your Monster 177
9. Where (Not) to Find Your Monster 195
10. What (Not) to Expect about Your Monster 213
Acknowledgments 229
Notes 231
About the Author 237
Back Ads 239
Back Cover 242
Epigraph
We must abandon the common sense notion that the monsters we meet within ourselves are enemies to be destroyed. Instead, we must cultivate the hope that they can become companions to be embraced, guides to be followed, albeit with caution and respect. For only our monsters know the way down to that inner place of unity and wholeness; only these creatures of the night know how to travel where there is no light.
Parker Palmer
Foreword
I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE how much Luke likes sharks. The only panic attack I’ve had in my life so far came because a fisherman caught a shark and showed it to me. Eyeball to eyeball. Tiny shark mouth jokingly touched to my arm and within seconds, I am panicked. Like block-out-what-just-happened-and-where-I-am kind of panic. Apparently I ran very fast on the beach to get away from the tiny shark, but sadly I don’t remember it (which is disappointing because I’ve always wanted to run fast).
I grew up thinking sharks were incredibly dangerous and life-threatening. It’s not that I knew it personally; I just saw the same movies you saw and saw the same massive ocean you saw and knew it was too scary.
I read Befriending Your Monsters while lying beside a lake, a lake I grew up swimming in and playing around. And yet, sometimes when I jump off the two-story dock and land in the water, I’m scared. I’m scared of what is below me and around me, and I have to do some major self-talk not to lose my mind. Of course, there are no sharks in a man-made lake, but there is just no end to the stories my mind will tell me to keep me from doing the thing that is right in front of me.
Just to be clear, there are real things that scare me too. (Not just the idea of saltwater predators in lake water literally hundreds of miles from an ocean.) I’m afraid that my deficits are too much to get over. I’m afraid that if I’m not in control of a situation, it is going to go haywire. I’m afraid my history is going to be too much for someone. I’m afraid I won’t survive the losses that some of my friends are experiencing when it is my turn. I’m afraid my prayers aren’t going to be answered.
I hear you. You are saying, “Annie, you are afraid God won’t answer your prayers the way you want them answered. But he always answers.” And yes, that would be the correct thing to say. But that’s not my fear. My fear is he won’t answer.
Luke and his wife and kids have become like family to me. And there is something about being in their house and in their lives that feels really safe. It’s not that the scary things go away, but darkness never wins in places full of light.
That’s why I read Befriending Your Monsters lying by the lake with the sunshine pouring down from the sky over North Georgia. I wanted to remind the darkness that light always wins. I wanted to hear Luke’s voice, page after page, a friend of great light in my life, tell me the stories I needed to hear.
There are many things that do not win in your life, if you so choose:
Fear doesn’t win.
Pain doesn’t win.
Darkness doesn’t win.
But it takes choosing light. Choosing to let the light invade the dark corners of your heart, not where things are hidden on purpose but where your courage went to crouch down, thinking this life would be too scary. It’s not. Befriend your monsters, let the light in, let your courage stand up, and walk right on into the life you’ve always wanted.
A NNIE F. D OWNS , bestselling author of 100 D ays to B rave and Remember God ; host of the That Sounds Fun podcast
Section I Meeting Monsters
1. Fake Monsters, Real Fears
The Song
A TODDLER EMERGES from the dark recesses of our hallway, paci in mouth, pink blankie in hand, and terror furrowing her brow.
“Daddy, I can’t sleep. Something skeedy is in my room on the ceiling.”
Upon inspection, I realize that I’ve created thi