Conquering the War Within , livre ebook

Conquering the War Within
Lynda Manson and Marcel Croteau
Austin Macauley Publishers
2019-06-28
Conquering the War Within About the Author About the Book Dedication Copyright Information Acknowledgement Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24
About the Author
Lynda Manson’s professional activities include teaching, textile and clothing design, restauranteur, author of two published cookbooks, and fine arts painter.
Marcel Croteau, a native of Northern Alberta and a WWII Canadian veteran of RAF Bomber Command, was decorated by King George VI with the Distinguished Flying Medal and received many other medals for his service, including the French Knight of the Legion of Honour Medal. After the war, Marcel resumed life as a civilian, becoming a husband, father, entrepreneur, property developer, and factory owner. He is also an artist and storyteller. Marcel celebrated his 96 th birthday on April 6, 2019.
About the Book
PTSD, rejection, abandonment, bullying, alcoholism, reconciliation, redemption, love, and enlightenment but above all, hope, are the themes in this memoir of Canadian Marcel Croteau. This ninety-five-year-old veteran of WWII was decorated by King George VI and survived an unprecedented thirty-nine missions during the war.
Conversations with Lynda reveal Marcel’s engaging, insightful, emotional, poignant, sometimes disturbing, and often humorous stories. His story of hope and survival is also of historical significance. He recounts in extraordinary detail life on the farm, the Great Depression, his education, enlisting and training in the RCAF, his war experiences, and his return to civilian life. He not only describes his antics, fearlessness, risky behavior, and significant events in his life but he has the ability to articulate the repercussions of a difficult childhood, the personal trauma of his war experience, his subsequent battle with PTSD, and finally his road to recovery.
“A fascinating story of an exceptional man as he journeys through childhood adversity, harrowing war experiences and half a lifetime’s struggle with PTSD. Even more profoundly, he emerges with messages of acceptance and hope, revealing an intellect undimmed by what would have destroyed many others. His metaphorical dance with co-author Lynda Manson, revealed as their conversation unfolds, makes this book even more compelling.”
— John Briere, Ph.D., Professor of Psychiatry & the Behavioral Sciences, Keck School of Medicine, University of Southern California
Dedication
This book is dedicated to Marcel’s children: Edouard, George, Guy, Brian, and Christine and everyone who has suffered from the consequences of war.
Copyright Information
Copyright © Lynda Manson and Marcel Croteau (2019)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher.
Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
Ordering Information:
Quantity sales: special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address below.
Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication data
Manson, Lynda and Croteau, Marcel
Conquering the War Within
Conversations with a WWII RCAF Rear Air Gunner
ISBN 9781643787077 (Paperback)
ISBN 9781643787060 (Hardback)
ISBN 9781645364924 (ePub e-book)
The main category of the book — History / Military / World War II
www.austinmacauley.com/us
First Published (2019)
Austin Macauley Publishers LLC
40 Wall Street, 28th Floor
New York, NY 10005
USA
mail-usa@austinmacauley.com
+1 (646) 5125767
Acknowledgement
I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Marcel Croteau for sharing the details of his life as a son, a brother, a husband, a father, a grandfather, and great grandfather. Without his willingness to reveal his experiences and struggles as a WWII Veteran and as a civilian, this book would never have happened. This is Marcel’s story and his alone.
I am also very thankful to family; including James, Dave, Michael, and Cheryl, who encouraged me to undertake this project and offered valuable critiques. A huge thanks to friends who helped edit the manuscript: Judy, Dave, and Marilyn. I especially want to thank my husband Hal who provided his editing skills and unwavering support and suggestions throughout the writing of this book.
A special thanks to J. P. Cormier for allowing lyrics from his song Hometown Battle to be used.
Any errors or omissions are all mine.
Lynda Manson


Hometown Battleground
He got home from the service as the spring began its turn,
Twelve long months away
He folded up his uniform with the medals tucked inside
Started living for today
But the present could not find him, nor could his wife and kids
He was there but he was gone
And soon his only comfort was a bottle and his gun
Something right that went so wrong
And the silence keeps on coming as the movie plays again
He can smell the yellow dust and death hanging in the wind
And we thought the war was over, but the headlines do reveal
That another soldier died on the hometown battlefield
From the song Hometown Battleground by Canadian singer / songwriter J. P. Cormier
The Prose of My Life
Chapter 1
’Since there is nothing
so well worth having as friends,
never lose a chance to make them.’
– Francisco Guicciardini
Ours was a chance encounter. It was an ordinary day, neither hot nor cold, neither sunny nor overcast, devoid of expectations and plans for the future. My day was to be spent in a local co-operative art gallery where I was a member. I looked forward to meeting and greeting art lovers and collectors who I hoped would leave the gallery with smiles on their faces and a purchase in their hands. The morning had been quiet until a pleasant looking (most would say handsome), well-dressed man with a book in his hand walked through the door.
He was tall with dark hair and an engaging smile. As we greeted each other and introduced ourselves as Lynda and Marcel, he spoke with a soft and gentle French Canadian accent. He told me the purpose of his visit was to return a book he borrowed from one of the artists. We casually walked among the displays of artwork by various local artists until we came to a painting of a Wellington bomber from WWII. Marcel stopped to admire the realistic image in front of us and then turned to look at me while he told me he had briefly trained in a Wellington bomber during the war. I hoped the surprise of his revelation was not written all over my face but I could not believe this man could be old enough to have participated in a war that took place so long ago. After all, that would make him as old as my father who had just turned 90. Marcel didn’t look a day over 65 and so I wondered what his secret was and what kind of life he had led.
Marcel came into the gallery a few times after that first encounter, and we chatted about many different subjects including the fact that he was also an artist. I was curious about his work and so he invited me to his home to see some of his paintings. In the past, Marcel worked mostly with watercolors, oil paints, and pastels but he could no longer paint with oils due to allergies. He was presently trying to master acrylics, the medium I work with. We chatted companionably, and I listened while he told me a little about his life and his war experiences. He also showed me photos and medals from his service in the RCAF during WWII. We agreed to meet for lunch the following week to continue our conversation.
Coincidentally, my sister was starting to write a novel based on our uncle’s life and service as a bombardier in Bomber Command of the RCAF during WWII. Tragically, he was killed in action, so I thought perhaps Marcel might be a valuable resource for my sister’s research. Our lunches became a regular event. I became fascinated not only by Marcel’s stories of his life during WWII but also those about growing up in northern Alberta on a farm/ranch among ten siblings. I was also intrigued with his recounting of his life after the war. Very quickly I realized that Marcel had an extraordinary memory for detail and a totally engaging storytelling ability. I found that his stories were not only descriptive of the times, poignant, intuitive, funny, occasionally sad and disturbing but presented a unique, personal point of view and a historical record of life in Canada from 1920s to the present time.
Marcel often mentioned that he had a wish to write a book about his life. As I listened, I too believed his life story needed to be written down but not by me. However, I became so drawn into Marcel’s very personal revelations about his life that I began to feel a connection to him that I could not explain. It seemed when he was telling me a story, I was right there with him experiencing every moment for myself. Our lunches soon became recording sessions, and an incredible, privileged journey for me began, as Marcel revealed his memories, actions, thoughts, and feelings from a lifetime of 95 plus years. It soon became evident to me that I could never pass this project on to someone else. I felt that compelled to see it through to the finish.
Chapter 2
’Courage is not the absence of fear
but the management of fear.’
– Marcel Croteau
“Of all your dangerous wartime experiences, what do yo