Making Love Last , livre ebook

Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
© 2017 by Laura Taggart
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2017
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-0728-6
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations labeled MSG are from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Scripture quotations labeled NLT are from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
The names and details of the people and situations described in this book have been changed or presented in composite form in order to ensure the privacy of those with whom the author has worked.
Published in association with Books & Such Literary Agency, 52 Mission Circle, Suite 122 PMB 170, Santa Rosa, CA 94509-7953.
Endorsements
“Laura has written a practical and wise guide on a crucial subject. Making Love Last is worth heeding for a lifetime.”
— John Ortberg , senior pastor of Menlo Church; author of All The Places to Go
“For over thirty years I’ve watched the results of Laura Taggart’s skillful love for raw marriages. Now she has produced an excellent resource for every couple hoping to create, rescue, or deepen love in their marriage. Great, fulfilling marriages take heart and skill. Laura addresses both. She names our real struggles clearly and honestly. Then she offers hope for a loving future with believable, practical, well-focused direction. Each chapter concludes with questions for reflection and discussion—these alone are worth the cost of the book! This book will help many of us love well.”
— Scott Farmer , retired pastor of Community Presbyterian Church, Danville
“As a pastor, I help couples plan storybook weddings. Making Love Last is the gift I’ll bring to every one of them. Laura understands the unique challenges couples face today. Her honesty, wisdom, and practical tools give couples what they need to transition from a storybook wedding to a thriving marriage.”
— Mark Wollan , senior pastor of San Ramon Presbyterian Church
“Insights gleaned from Laura Taggart’s thirty years as a marriage counselor are woven into stories of her clients—young couples who face common problems that threaten their commitment. Taggart untangles the immediate issues by shedding light on what has brought the couple to the point of crisis and shows them how their crisis is an opportunity for growth, resulting in a deeply satisfying relationship. Making Love Last is aimed at young couples, but it brings benefits and wisdom to all marriages. It’s on the top of my go-to gift list.”
— Suzanne Woods Fisher , bestselling author of Amish Peace
“This book is for all of us who keep trying harder and harder at our marriages but feel like we are not seeing results. Laura’s radical suggestion? Stop trying so hard and dare to try something different. Making Love Last takes your marriage into new and wild territories in order to help couples not only talk about changing their marriages but actually grow them. Laura explores how your differences can make you a stronger couple, looks at the real motivations of why we do what we do, and even suggests creative ways to handle conflict. Couples who go through this book will have all the tools they need to approach their marriage in new, healthy, and, dare I say, fun ways.”
— Kathi Lipp , author of the Publishers Weekly bestseller The Husband Project , Clutter Free , and Overwhelmed
“If you are confused, disappointed, or even in despair about your marriage, Making Love Last will give you help and hope. Well-written and easy to read, this book will give you new insights about marriage and practical approaches for tending, mending, and renewing your love. All of this in the context of spiritual healing and Christian growth. Written for young marrieds, it’s a good read for anyone who seeks lasting love at any stage of relationship.”
— Rev. Mary Steege , licensed marriage and family therapist
“Laura has traveled the terrain of early marriage with enumerable young couples and knows intimately the challenges and disillusionments they face. We all want a great marriage but most of us don’t know how to get there. In Making Love Last , Laura provides a goldmine of wisdom and practical help that will guide and inspire couples toward that great marriage they long for. A must read for all young (and old!) couples!”
— Claudia and David Arp , authors of the 10 Great Dates series
“This book is an incredible opportunity to be mentored and counseled by a wonderful Christian counselor in Laura Taggart. She brings practical advice and hope in building the foundation you need for success in your marriage for a lifetime. A healthy marriage is always an intentional marriage and Laura will give you the tools needed to Make Love Last .”
— Jim Burns, PhD , president of HomeWord; author of Creating an Intimate Marriage , Closer , and Getting Ready for Marriage
“This book is daring, bold, and inspiring. It challenges millennials to think differently about marriage in a generation where divorce is commonplace. Laura gives us a gentle nudge and a refreshing perspective on marriage as she dares us to lean in to our relationships to make love last instead finding replacements.”
— Teagan Darnell , MA, LMFT
Dedication
For my husband, Gary. My partner in life and love. I’m so glad you said “I do.”
Contents
Cover 1
Title Page 2
Copyright Page 3
Endorsements 4
Dedication 5
Foreword by Milan and Kay Yerkovich 9
Acknowledgments 13
Introduction 17
Part 1: Reimagining Marriage—Changing the Way You Think 23
1. Why Marriage Is Hard Work 25
2. More Than You Imagined 41
3. Why Marriage Is Worth It 59
Part 2: Revitalizing Marriage—Changing the Way You Relate 79
4. Search Yourself 81
5. Embrace Differences 107
6. Tackle Conflict 123
7. Let Go 149
8. Lean In 167
9. Initiate Intimacy 191
Part 3: Re-visioning Marriage—Changing the Way You Love 217
10. The Power of a Promise 219
11. Marriage as a Catalyst for Change 231
12. Better Together 239
Appendix A: Feeling Words 247
Appendix B: Sample List of Protectors 249
Appendix C: Renewal of Covenant Marriage 251
Appendix D: Beginning a Personal Relationship with God 253
Appendix E: Infographic of Survey Results 255
Notes 257
About the Author 263
Back Ads 265
Back Cover 269
Foreword
Falling in love is easy! Yet, as many of us well know, staying happily married over a lifetime is another story. As we struggle, resentments build, contempt creeps in, and once sturdy relational bridges are ultimately burned to the ground. If you once were madly in love but now find yourself drifting toward relational disappointment and disillusionment, take heart, because wonderful help begins just a few pages away in Laura Taggart’s new book Making Love Last .
As we travel and speak around the world, one of our greatest pleasures is getting to meet many amazing people who share a common passion for helping families thrive. On one such trip to the San Francisco Bay Area we had the pleasure of being the guest of Laura Taggart, who was the director of Marriage and Family Ministries at Community Presbyterian Church of Danville. With a passion to help relationships grow and flourish, she founded a marriage mentoring ministry to help young couples navigate the ups and downs of early marriage by being mentored by a more seasoned couple.
Laura has a great heart for families, and as a licensed marriage and family therapist she has the education and experience to offer wise, comprehensive, practical counsel. A teacher at heart, Laura has shared these insights from her therapy office of thirty years, as an adjunct professor at Fuller Theological Seminary, at the Evangelical Theological College in Ethiopia, and now in this new book.
Our working relationship became a personal friendship with Laura and her husband, Gary. As our relationship deepened we discovered Laura and Gary had grown tremendously through the difficulties in their own marriage and honored the covenant they made years ago. We love authors who have success in their own relationships before offering insight to others.
When we first received a copy of Making Love Last , we knew we would find wisdom, insight, vulnerability, and practical application. And as we read the manuscript for the first time, Laura surpassed all our expectations. She gives young couples a realistic picture of marriage and the skills to manage difficult seasons. In part 1 she helps couples explore important concepts of married life and challenges them to think about what has influenced their beliefs about marriage. Part 2 will help husbands and wives develop awareness and change the way they relate to one another. Part 3 will help couples create an entirely new vision for their relationship. Discussion questions and suggestions for application make this a practical and life transforming book.
Laura has a special interest in the millennial generation. Many in this age group are marrying in their late twenties, having taken the time to “find themselves” and develop their careers