Parenting a Troubled Teen , livre ebook

242

pages

English

Ebooks

2017

Écrit par
Zurita Ona Patricia E.

Publié par
New Harbinger Publications

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242

pages

English

Ebooks

2017

Lire un extrait

Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne En savoir plus

Publié par

New Harbinger Publications

Date de parution

01 septembre 2017

Nombre de lectures

EAN13

9781626258990

Langue

English

Poids de l'ouvrage

5 Mo

Raising a teen is tough—especially when your teen has trouble regulating their emotions and lashes out. This groundbreaking book will give you the tools you need to stop unwittingly reinforcing your teen’s bad behavior, reduce conflicts, and get your teen on track with the things that really matter.

If you have a teen who experiences extreme emotions, either as a result of a mental health diagnosis such as borderline personality disorder (BPD), or simply because you have a highly emotional teen, you probably need help right now. Parenting a teen comes with its own challenges, but when your teen acts out you may feel like you are at your wits end. To make matters worse, you may have difficulty managing your own emotions and responses.

Written by an expert in teen mental health, Parenting a Troubled Teen is based in proven-effective acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). In the book, you'll find the tools you need to parent your troubled teen, pay attention to your own reactions, and put an end to the cycle of conflict that has taken over your home. In this book, you’ll learn to observe the thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that drive your own parenting behaviors, and how these behaviors can impact your teen.

This is not a book about how to be a perfect parent. Everyone makes mistakes and reacts negatively to a situation from time to time. But if you’re committed to improving your relationship with your teen, helping them take charge of their emotions, and ending family conflict, this practical guide will show you how.

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Publié par

New Harbinger Publications

Date de parution

01 septembre 2017

EAN13

9781626258990

Langue

English

Poids de l'ouvrage

5 Mo

“Patricia Zurita Ona offers thoughtful guidance and straightforward tools to help parents remain present for their struggling teen while learning to ride the push and pull of their teen’s emotional tides. However, this book is not just for parents with troubled teens. Every parent will find something useful in this book, for what parent and what teen has not felt the pull of strong emotions?”

—MichaelA. Tompkins, PhD, ABPP, codirector of the San Francisco Bay Area Center for Cognitive Therapy; assistant clinical professor at the University of California, Berkeley; and coauthor ofMyAnxiousMind

“As a certified school psychologist working in high schools for many years, I genuinely wish I hadParentingaTroubledTeento give to the parents and guardians of the students I was helping. Zurita Ona outlines very practical steps for adults who would like to help their teenager thrive during the chaotic times in their lives. Because the book is filled with real-world vignettes and useful exercises, parents and guardians will findParentingaTroubledTeenbe a valuable to resource for fostering stronger and more mature relationships.”

—D. J. Moran, PhD, BCBA-D, founder of Pickslyde Consulting and the MidAmerican Psychological Institute

“As every parent knows, having children brings both joy and pain. But nothing prepares parents for the unique trials and tribulations of a troubled teen. Fortunately, help is at hand. This book is an incred-ibly practical guide to helping your child reduce suffering, build richer relationships, and become more successful in the face of life’s many challenges. No matter how bad things may have gotten, it’s never too late to turn the tide; and step-by-step, in a compassionate and respectful way, this book will show you just how to do it.”

—RussHarris, author ofTheHappinessTrapand ACTMadeSimple

“Profound and compassionate,ParentingaTroubledTeen affirms real-world tools for caregivers. This book includes important infor-mation that offers new possibilities in parenting—challenging assumptions about adolescents while illuminating a fresh perspec-tive on how to forge a meaningful connection that goes beyond ‘fixing.’”

—TimothyGordon, MSW, RSW, social worker, peer-reviewed acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) trainer, and coauthor ofTheACTApproach

“Parents of teens who struggle with emotion regulation often describe feeling confused and overwhelmed by their teens’ behavior. Zurita Ona has come to the rescue with her beautifully crafted guide on how to apply acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to the challenges experienced while parenting highly sensitive teens. This book will help parents manage their own intense emotions, and interact more empathically and effectively with their children. I look forward to recommending this book to the parents of my clients!”

—JamieA. Micco, PhD, ABPP, clinical psychologist in private practice in Concord, MA, and lecturer in psychology at Harvard Medical School

“If you’re parenting a troubled teen, you almost certainly feel like a troubled parent who has a troubled parent-child relationship. If this sounds familiar, read this book! Zurita Ona comes to the rescue with this revolutionary guide for breaking unhelpful patterns of interacting with your teen, becoming the parent you truly aspire to be, and having a rich and meaningful relationship despite the emo-tional challenges.”

—JillA. Stoddard, PhD, coauthor ofTheBigBookofACTMetaphors, and director of The Center for Stress and Anxiety Management in San Diego, CA

Parenting a TroubledTeen

Manage ConLict & Deal withIntense Emotions Using Acceptance& Commitment Therapy

Pa t r i c i a E . Zu r i t a On a, Ps yD

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Publisher’s Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the pub-lisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

The exercise “Pure Moments of Purpose” is adapted with permission from MINDFULNESS FOR TWO by Kelly Wilson and Troy DuFrene, copyright © 2008 by Kelly Wilson and Troy DuFrene. Used by permission of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Acquired by Ryan Buresh

Edited by Brady Kahn

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file

To my uncles Juan and Franklin, my aunt Sofia, and my mom, Patricia: you taught me that life is what we make of it.

To all the parents I worked with: you have been my greatest teachers.

Foreword

Introduction

Contents

vii

Part1:Getting Started 15“Why Is It so Hard?”: How ACT Can Help 2“My House Is a Stress Machine”: Your Struggle as a Parent 11

Part2:Being Real 3“She’s so Manipulative”: Judgment Thoughts 4“He Just Shouldn’t”: When Rules Become Rigid 5nihc:”enileaMgdanrrWosieTravme-yTi“M Ruminations

6 7

“I Suck as a Parent”: Mind Stories

“It’sanEmotionalRollercoaster”:HandlingThoseIntense Emotions

“WhatTypeofParentDoIWanttoBe?”:Your Parenting Values

Part3:Making a Shift 9“I’m Here, Fully Present”: Mindfulness Skills 10“I See You”: Appreciation Skills

Parenting aTroubledTeen

11“I Get It, It’s Hard”: Empathy Skills 12“Let’s Talk”: Assertiveness Skills 13“ging,StStopNagivroeBahla-Rewaartg”:rdin ManagementSkills

14 15 16 17

“Let’s Deal with This”: Conflict Resolution Skills

“Taming the Demon”: Anger Skills

“I Don’t Know How to Let It Go”: Forgiveness Skills

“Why Do I Need to Be Kind?”: Compassion Skills

Part4:When Things Get Rocky

18arsheatForF”:dnDropth“Let’senCar!peeFimin Male Caregivers 19“Am I Willing?”: Moments of Choice Afterword Appendix Acknowledgments References

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Foreword

Relationshipsarelivingentitiesthatevolve, morph, and transform, and to be successful, they require attention. No relationship will survive without adjustments, changes, and caring behaviors from the people involved in it. This simple, powerful statement by Patricia Zurita-Ona can dignify even your darkest moments as a parent. This book is written to help you walk that walk and discover the best of yourself, even in the worst moments you will face as a parent. It is a book especially designed for parents of teens with emotion dysregulation problems, those highly sensitive teens who require specialized skills and spe-cialized responses from their parents. Sadly, many parents fail to appreciate this core principle of parenting. Parenting is a process, not an outcome, and success is not determined by heroic, single acts of acceptance or forgiveness, nor by “winning” a heated argument with a teenager. Parenting is a process that is best thought of as a long journey that, unbelievably enough, will bring you to your knees at one juncture and into contact with the best of who you are at another. And this process will go on and on as you and your child travel the path of life together. The journey requires that you persist in being guided by your values as a parent, even as the emotions of the moment tempt you to stop. Here is another truth from this wonderfully written book:Youcannotchoosewhatshowsupunderyourskin; you cannot choose how your teen feels, thinks, or behaves. But you can choose how to respond in that moment.In this book, Zurita-Ona is really laying out a serenity prayer for parents.Knowwhatyoucanchange(i.e., your behavior in this moment);knowwhatyoumustaccept(i.e., your own emotional reactions to your child, memories of your upbringing, self-doubts about your adequacy as a parent, and what your teen says and does to stimulate these things inside of you). And, finally, she offers you a way to self-knowledge:Youpossessthewisdomtoknowthedifference.

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