@#1crush , livre ebook

@#1crush
Paul Spelzini
Austin Macauley Publishers
2020-01-08
@#1crush @#1crush 1. Arms Open 2. Aspirin Damage 3. Changes 4. Deepest Blue 5. The Energy Never Dies 6. Flux 7. Get Out Of Your Own Way 8. Gimme Sympathy 9. Help, I’m Alive 10. Hysteria 11. If today was your last day 12. Loneliness 13. @#1crush 14. Overdose 15. Prozac 16. Dark Saturday 17. Now or Never 18. Teardrop
Paul is an experienced writer and has been married for over thirty years with three grown-up children. He has three young granddaughters.
He is a voluntary station adopter with the Abbey Line Community rail partnership since its inception in 2005; and has been running a voluntary local transport user group since 1986.
He is also a leading UK flight and traditional archer, having had success over the years, since taking up the sport originally as a target archer in 1998 and switching in 2005.
Paul has written, published, and self-published books and some technical articles; including My Wonderful Fran , Artificial Nocturne , 30 years of bus deregulation and Planning and Development: changing the way we travel .
All are now available on Amazon Kindle.
Dedicated to Francesca and Brenda.
Copyright © Paul Spelzini (2021)
The right of Paul Spelzini to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.
Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.
ISBN 9781528984324 (Paperback)
ISBN 9781528984331 (ePub e-book)
www.austinmacauley.com
First Published (2021)
Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd
25 Canada Square
Canary Wharf
London
E14 5LQ
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank Canadian band, Metric for providing cutting edge indie music, so relevant to mental health issues and a real inspiration; Samaritans for their anti-suicide campaigns and Tomcraft’s Prozac-a track specifically about a drug, mental health and wider health conditions.
1. Arms Open
Matt was 25 and lived with his live-in girlfriend, Summer, an attractive and demure young lady of 24, in a rented apartment. Summer did like her drink and was something of a closet alcoholic suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This would drive Matt to distraction sometimes with her fastidiousness for cleanliness and tidiness.
Matt had suffered from Asperger Syndrome since the age of nine. It had not been severe, as it was diagnosed as being at level 1 whilst he was at school during a routine medical check-up.
He remembers being a little shocked and surprised at this diagnosis but had not let it affect his day-to-day life too much in the intervening years.
Matt had been taking Aspirin for an abscess in his jaw, following a football game where he temporarily dislocated his jaw, which proved painful. Surprisingly, after having visited the doctor, he had gone to sleep, and the joint clicked back in during his sleep and he woke up to find he could open his jaw again, much to his delight. He also resorted to taking Aspirin for minor ailments such as headaches, and because of the advice given in the media about taking one Aspirin a day staving off heart and other routine complications that affect a person’s health.
What the media reports did not say, though, is that Aspirin can cause damage to the stomach linings and affect intestinal bleeding if taken in excess. However, there seemed to be little medical evidence of this in Matt’s case.
What concerned Matt, and was a concern of his girlfriend, Summer also, was that prolonged use of any drug was bound to have side effects over a longer period.
This is evident in smoking, where you may smoke heavily when young with no apparent side effects. However, as you age, you tend to notice skin problems, a deep, gravelly voice even in women; stomach upsets and a predilection towards getting colds and flu.
Matt also could not really understand the reason why he needed to take Aspirin quite so much, or the reason for getting so many headaches in the first place.
Was it the stress of trying to hold on to a job in a very competitive marketplace?
Was it the struggle to keep himself and his girlfriend financially stable with soaring outgoings?
Or, was it simply anxiety about trying to please his partner, and the worry about possibly losing her to other suitors who could offer her more than he could possibly afford?
Matt sought solace and further advice and went to a housing charity. They merely told him that help was available for people who were homeless but could do little for people who were able to support themselves, unless they are suffering from a pre-existing medical condition.
Matt left the clinic, feeling frustrated that he could not get the help and assistance that he really needed at the time.
He returned home thinking about all the discussions he had had with the charity people and wondered if there was a sure way to better his situation..
Matt found a letter, when he returned, along with a notice to vacate the apartment, from his landlord. The notice stated that he had consistently failed to pay his rent, which meant he had a month in his hand to find somewhere else to live.
This caused Matt to panic initially, as he searched for alternatives to solve his predicament that he found himself and his girlfriend in. Losing his flat would probably mean losing his live-in girlfriend too, something that he did want to risk.
Matt spent hours online, searching for a flat or alternative accommodation options that he could affords, but there was nothing suitable or readily available for his needs.
He asked Summer if she would put some feelers out to see if anything came up, and she promised she would try asking about it at her work, her friends and acquaintances, but could not guarantee anything. She, however, suggested that they could live with her parents temporarily, but that was something of a last resort for Matt.
In desperation, Matt started looking for temporary housing accommodations in the local newspaper and saw an advert for a housing charity called Arms Open .
It was an international agency that had been set up to help disadvantaged people in need of housing that did not fit into the conventional system.
He went to their shop in a nearby town’s high street and spoke to a charity worker, Anil, who worked there. Anil asked for how long Matt had been suffering from Asperger syndrome to which Matt said since the age of nine..
Anil commented that it must have been hard for Matt to cope with and Matt agreed.
Matt also went on to say that the worst part was the attitude from other people who thought him to be some sort of a dysfunctional part of society; when in practice, he had the skills and aptitude, love and commitment that many normal people simply don’t have.
For instance, he said, he loved dogs and could not understand how people could treat animals badly or use them to make money, and then, cynically discard them.
Anil trawled through some online adverts and then came across one which, he said, might suit Matt. He said, ‘Look this may be up your street,’ and pointed Matt to an advert of a 2-bedroom flat in a nearby town.
Matt looked and said, ‘Yes, that can work for us, and the rent is affordable, which in this town is rare.’
Anil said, ‘Leave it with me and I will make some enquiries, but we are here to help disadvantaged people like you, suffering with mental health conditions that don’t always fall under the normal health services regime; a bit like rough sleepers.’
Matt left the charity office and returned to his current flat to find a Notice to quit lying on the floor, and felt the whole world was conspiring against him.
Matt rang his girlfriend on her mobile for solace. She said, ‘Cheer up, babes, things could be a lot worse,’ and they made plans to go out that weekend.
Matt rang off and went into the bathroom. He saw a box of Aspirin, of which, he took several with an alcoholic drink, before slouching on the sofa to watch TV but drifted off into a deep sleep.
2. Aspirin Damage
Matt woke up later that day to realise that he had been asleep for several hours. He had a blinding headache as well, from taking Aspirin and alcohol together.
His immediate reaction was to take more Aspirin to counteract the headache and the effects of migraine he was suffering from. However, he did not realise that the blurred black and white images that he was seeing was due to his vision being affected by taking yet more of the tablets.
Just then, he heard his mobile ring, and he answered it. It was an old school friend, Greg, who said, ‘How are you fixed for coming out with the lads this weekend?’
Matt said, ‘Sorry, but I think Summer already has plans for us this weekend.’
Greg said, ‘No problem. I’ll give you a ring in the week,’ and promptly rang off, and texted Matt a message to confirm.
Matt went back into the bathroom and looked at himself hard in the mirror.
What he saw was not good. He looked pasty and tired, and drawn from working long hours; he really needed a holiday but couldn’t afford one whilst looking for a new flat.
He thought to himself, How do I get out of this rut, where I can’t seem to get anywhere career-wise or in life, generally, as I am constantly held back by this limiting medical condition?
Whilst i