Surviving the Emotional Roller Coaster , livre ebook

“Sheri Van Dijk has written an accessible workbook that includes useful exercises and relevant examples to help young people grow their knowledge and skills in managing their painful emotions. I will recommend this book to my adolescent clients and parents who consult me.”
— Karma Guindon, MSW, PhD (candidate), RSW, RMFT , therapist in private practice, and lecturer at the University of Waterloo
“ Surviving the Emotional Roller Coaster is an invaluable resource to any teen, parent, or professional who is dealing with the complex nature of emotional dysregulation. Sheri Van Dijk has found an eloquent and understandable way of explaining comprehensive dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) concepts to an audience that will greatly benefit. As a clinician, I plan to refer to and draw from her book in my daily practice.”
— Wendy Hofmann, MSW, RSW , clinical social worker, and partner at Hofmann & Isaac Individual and Family Counselling in Aurora, Ontario, Canada
“This skill-based book brings together an array of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)-based strategies in a well laid out, uniquely easy-to-read fashion. Surviving the Emotional Roller Coaster is a must-read as it conveys hope and encouragement to a population that has typically been seen as a clinical challenge. This resource gives readers a practical treatment plan which will undoubtedly lead them on a road to wellness.”
— Michael Isaac, MEd, RSW , clinical social worker, and partner at Hofmann & Isaac Individual and Family Counselling in Aurora, Ontario, Canada
“In Surviving the Emotional Roller Coaster , Sheri Van Dijk has again written an engaging and user-friendly book. For teens whose emotions make their life feel as if they are on a roller coaster, this book provides hope as Van Dijk has explained the skills of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) in an understandable and easy-to-follow manner. There are plenty of examples and exercises making this an interactive book. I would definitely recommend this book to clients both young and older.”
— Marilyn Becker, MSW, RSW , dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills therapist in private practice in Richmond Hill, Ontario, Canada
“ Surviving the Emotional Roller Coaster is a remarkably helpful resource for teenagers and parents, and practitioners working with teenagers. Sheri Van Dijk’s user-friendly workbook offers valuable knowledge and practical skills to help teenagers gain an understanding and awareness of their emotions and learn to manage difficult emotions, and provides guidance to surviving crises with calm. She has done a wonderful job at providing simple practices to help teenagers effectively deal with challenges in their relationships.”
— Zainib Abdullah, MSW, RSW , mental health therapist and crisis worker at Southlake Regional Health Centre
“ Surviving the Emotional Roller Coaster is a practical guide modified to provide relevant information for teenagers coping with managing their emotions in today’s unusually demanding world. Practicing and using the techniques described in this book affects the ability to regulate emotions, shape a sense of self, and healthy emotional development. I would venture to say that this book is a must-read for all teenagers and those around them.”
— Rennet Wong-Gates, MSW, RSW , child, youth, and family therapist
“This excellent resource is filled with great examples and practice exercises that teens can relate to. Van Dijk emphasizes the importance of learning and practicing skills at one’s own pace with the goal of making life changes to reduce suffering associated with escalating emotions.”
— Francine Brill, MD, FRCP(C) , child and adolescent psychiatrist in private practice in Newmarket, Ontario, Canada, and consultant to New Path Youth and Family Services
“Sheri Van Dijk has hit it out of the amusement park with this skill-based approach to surviving the emotional roller coaster. She effectively helps her readers to identify their overwhelming emotions and their behavioral challenges while equipping them with practical strategies to successfully manage them. This clear, step-by-step description of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills will indisputably help teens to navigate the twists and turns of their emotional journey. I will definitely recommend this engaging, easy-to-use manual to my clients and their families, and I will keep it close by as a guide in helping my teen clients to traverse their social and emotional challenges.”
— Francine Mendelowitz, LCSW , psychotherapist and founder of InterACT New York, an interactive approach to tackling teen challenges



Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2016 by Sheri Van Dijk
Instant Help
An imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Amy Shoup
Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer
Edited by Karen Schader
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Van Dijk, Sheri, author.
Surviving the emotional roller coaster : DBT skills to help teens manage emotions / Sheri Van Dijk, MSW.
pages cm. -- (The instant help solutions series)
ISBN 978-1-62625-240-0 (pbk. : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-1-62625-241-7 (pdf e-book) ISBN 978-1-62625-242-4 (epub) 1. Emotions in adolescence--Juvenile literature. 2. Dialectical behavior therapy--Juvenile literature. I. Title.
BF724.3.E5V363 2016
155.5’124--dc23
2015032491
Contents
Introduction
Emotional Pain: Typical or Overwhelming?
What Causes Emotion Dysregulation?
Biology
Environment
Effects of Emotion Dysregulation
Not Knowing Who You Are
Problems in Relationships
Unhealthy or Destructive Behaviors
What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy?
Your Next Steps
Chapter 1: Mindfulness: Waking Up to Your Life
What Is Mindfulness?
Focusing on the Present Moment
Accepting the Present Moment
How Mindfulness Will Help You Survive the Emotional Roller Coaster
Reducing Emotional Pain
Increasing Positive Emotions
Feeling Calm and Relaxed
Increasing Self-Control
Improving Concentration and Memory
Finding Balance
How to Practice Mindfulness
Four Steps to Mindfulness
Narrating or Witnessing
Internal vs. External Experiences
Developing Your Own Practice
Your Next Steps
Chapter 2: What You Need to Know About Your Emotions
What Is an Emotion?
Naming Your Emotions in Order to Manage Them
Getting to Know Your Emotions
Anger
Fear
Sadness
Shame or Guilt
Love
Happiness
The Role of Emotions
Motivation
Information
Communication
The Connection Between Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors
The Role of Interpretations
Thoughts and Emotions Are Not Facts
Your Next Steps
Chapter 3: Slowing Down the Emotional Roller Coaster
Three Ways of Thinking
Emotional Self
Reasoning Self
Wise Self
Finding Balance
How to Get to Your Wise Self
Increasing Self-Awareness
Narrating or Witnessing Your Experience
Breathing Well
Your Physical Health Can Affect Your Thinking Style
Balancing Sleep
Get Comfortable
Reduce Caffeine and Other Stimulants
Balancing Eating
Reducing (or Eliminating) Use of Drugs and Alcohol
Increasing Exercise
Taking Care of Yourself Physically
Your Next Steps
Chapter 4: Leaving the Judgments Out of It
Being Nonjudgmental to Quiet Intense Emotions
What Is a Judgment?
Practicing Mindfulness to Judgments
The Consequences of Judging
Judging Makes You More Vulnerable to Your Emotional Self
Judging Others Affects Relationships
Judging Doesn’t Provide Helpful Information
Self-Judgments Damage Self-Esteem
Some Judgments Are Necessary
Judgments vs. Evaluations
Positive Judgments
What to Do About Judgments
Increasing Awareness
Turning a Judgment into a Nonjudgment
Your Next Steps
Chapter 5: Dealing with Intense Emotions
Messages About Emotions
“Anger Is Bad”
“Don’t Worry”
“There’s Nothing for You to Feel Sad About”
How Your Beliefs Affect the Way You Feel: Primary vs. Secondary Emotions
Validating Your Emotions
Acknowledging
Allowing
Understanding
Your Next Steps
Chapter 6: Stop Letting Your Emotions Get in the Way
What Does It Mean to Be Effective?
Considering Your Goals
“Don’t Cut Off Your Nose to Spite Your Face”
Acting from Your Wise Self
Acting Opposite to Your Emotion
Obstacles to Effectiveness
Not Knowing What Your Goal Is
Not Responding to Reality
Not Looking at the Long Run
What Does This Skill Mean for You?
Your Next Steps
Chapter 7: Accepting Reality
What Does Fighting Reality Mean?
Pain vs. Suffering
Reality Acceptance
What Does Accepting Reality Mean?
Practicing Reality Acceptance
What Acceptance Isn’t
Acceptance Doesn’t Mean Approval
Acceptance Doesn’t Mean Forgiveness
Acceptance Doesn’t Mean You Give Up
You Can Accept Only What Is Reality
Was That Really Acceptance?
What Do You Need to Accept?
Your Next Steps
Chapter 8: Surviving a Crisis Without Making It Worse
What Is a Crisis?
What to Do in a Crisis
What Do You Do to Cope?
Thinking About the Consequences
Using What’s Worked Before
Distracting Yourself from the Crisis
Soothing Yourself
Dealing with Distressing Thoughts
Using Mindfulness to Let Go of Thoughts
Reframing
Encourage Yourself
Compare
Putting These Skills Together
Your Next Steps
Chapter 9: The Building Blocks for Positive Emotions
Improving Your Mood Takes Work
Seeing the Positives
Having Goals to Work Toward
Pleasurable Activities
Building Mastery
Just Do It!
Being Mindful of Your Emotions
Val