No More Narcissists! , livre ebook

223

pages

English

Ebooks

0001

Écrit par
V. Love Candace

Publié par
New Harbinger Publications

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223

pages

English

Ebooks

0001

Lire un extrait

Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne En savoir plus

Publié par

New Harbinger Publications

Date de parution

01 janvier 0001

EAN13

9781626253681

Langue

English

Poids de l'ouvrage

3 Mo

Why do some women date, or even marry, narcissistic men—over and over? In this provocative book, a clinical psychologist and expert in narcissism offers 7 secrets to help women finally break free from their attraction to narcissistic men.

Do you keep finding yourself in relationships with narcissistic men? Is your boyfriend or husband solely focused on fulfilling their own needs and unable to see things from your perspective? If you’re tired of dealing with a self-absorbed partner and are ready to be treated with kindness, respect, and sensitivity, this book is for you.

In No More Narcissists!, psychologist Candace Love provides a road map for women to finally get the love they deserve. Using skills based in cognitive behavioral and schema therapy, you’ll gain an understanding of why you’re attracted to narcissistic men, how you can avoid being drawn in by a narcissist’s initial charm and magnetism, and how to heal so you can finally move on to healthy relationships.

You’ll find out how the basic principles of schema theory—core beliefs about ourselves and our environment that we acquire in childhood and adolescence—can play an important role in why you’re attracted to narcissists and seek them out. Also included are targeted exercises and techniques that will encourage you to examine your past relationships and take meaningful steps to promote self-care and healing.

Isn’t it time you broke the cycle of hurt, frustration, and pain that comes with loving a narcissist? This book will show you how to let go of these destructive relationships once and for all, love yourself unconditionally, and find the love you deserve.

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Publié par

New Harbinger Publications

Date de parution

01 janvier 0001

EAN13

9781626253681

Langue

English

Poids de l'ouvrage

3 Mo

“With a clear and thoughtful voice, Candace V. Love describes, through relevant case examples, how to identify and discern important self-defeating versus self-supportive life patterns; providing effective methods for forging a compassionate bond with the vulnerable side of ourselves in order to steer clear of narcissistic seduction and to achieve healthy, recip-rocally balanced, needs-meeting relationships. This book will surely bring added value to your personal library.”

—Wendy T. Behary, LCSW, author ofDisarming the Narcissist

“This is the book for women who are wonderingWas it him or was it me?The answer is here; not whose fault it was, but what actually happened, and solid psychological advice about how to keep it from happening again.”

—Albert J. Bernstein PhD, author ofDinosaur Brains andEmotional Vampires

“Candace V. Love has written a marvelously accessible and interesting book for women seeking to understand how to change chronic patterns that have resulted in toxic relationships with narcissistic men. Her book offers insightful self-assessment tools and many effective strategies for healing and growing and, last but not least, for developing the art and skill of relationship wisdom.”

—Eleanor Payson, LMSW,author ofThe Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists

“The first step in making positive changes is to identify the source of your suffering.No More Narcissists!will help you understand how your core beliefs and their related patterns of behavior, including partner selection, have kept you stuck in romantic relationships that are damag-ing to you.”

—Michelle Skeen, PsyD, author ofLove Me, Don’t Leave Me

“Required reading for anyone romantically involved with a narcissist! Built upon proven psychological research and delivered in an engaging and readable style, this book is chock-full of insights and exercises for the reader. Candace V. Love is a relationship guru and BFF all rolled up into one; walking with you arm-in-arm and skillfully guiding you through the intricacies and entrapments of your narcissistic relationship.”

—Neil J. Lavender, PhD, licensed psychologist, professor of psychology at Ocean County College in New Jersey, and coauthor ofThe One-Way Relationship Workbookand Impossible to Please

NooMerNarcissists! How to Stop CHoosing Self-Absorbed Men andFind tHe Love You Deserve

CANDACE V. LOVE, PhD

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Publisher’s Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Cover design by Sara Christian Acquired by Melissa Valentine Edited by Jean Blomquist

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file

Printed in the United States of America

18 17 16

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2

1 First printing

To my mentor Barbara Gerbert, PhD, who gave me the opportunity to transform my life

In memory of my friend Jean Walker, MD

To my parents, Gust and Marie Melonas

Contents

Introduction ...................................................................................1

Prince Charming or Another Frog? ...............................................9

The Frog: Understanding Narcissism and Narcissists ..................27

Unmet Childhood Needs: Discovering Your Story ......................53

A Closer Look at Life Traps .........................................................63

Stuck for Life? Your Life Traps in Adulthood ..............................87

Learn to Change Your Life Traps ............................................... 121

Self-Care: Becoming Your Own Fairy Godmother .................... 151

Mindful Dating .......................................................................... 179

A Few Last Thoughts… .............................................................199

Acknowledgments...................................................................... 201

Appendix: List of Exercises ........................................................203

Notes .......................................................................................... 207

References ..................................................................................209

ïntroductîon

If you are one of the many women who find yourself in one toxic, destruc-tive relationship after another and can’t understand why your relation-ships implode, the problem may be that you are picking one self-absorbed, self-serving narcissistic partner after another. What’s worse is that you don’t even realize you’re doing it. Well, I have good news for you. You can learn to stop repeating this destructive relationship pattern. As a clinical psychologist, I have helped many women like you break this pattern. This book is for you and the many women like you who struggle with this issue. One such woman is Linda. See if her story sounds familiar.

Lînda’s Story

Sitting alone at the bar of a trendy restaurant, Linda squeezed the stem of her wine glass tightly. Her stomach had that scooped-out feeling of loss, and she could feel the weight of sadness building up in her throat.Stop. Not yet. I don’t want to start crying now. She checked the time on her smartphone…again. Nancy was always late. Nancy had been her closest friend since childhood, and Linda really needed to talk to her. Linda thought back to the time when she and Nancy had their first hot yoga class a few years earlier, and she had told Nancy about her latest boyfriend, Marc. Things seemed so hopeful then, and Linda began to daydream, remembering how happy she had felt in the beginning of her relationship with Marc. While Linda daydreamed, Nancy finally arrived. Ignoring the attempts of the hostess to seat her, Nancy headed directly for Linda at the bar.

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