No More Narcissists! , livre ebook
278
pages
English
Ebooks
0001
Vous pourrez modifier la taille du texte de cet ouvrage
Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne En savoir plus
Découvre YouScribe et accède à tout notre catalogue !
Découvre YouScribe et accède à tout notre catalogue !
278
pages
English
Ebooks
0001
Vous pourrez modifier la taille du texte de cet ouvrage
Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne En savoir plus
Publié par
Date de parution
01 janvier 0001
EAN13
9781626253698
Langue
English
Why do some women date, or even marry, narcissistic men—over and over? In this provocative book, a clinical psychologist and expert in narcissism offers 7 secrets to help women finally break free from their attraction to narcissistic men.
Do you keep finding yourself in relationships with narcissistic men? Is your boyfriend or husband solely focused on fulfilling their own needs and unable to see things from your perspective? If you’re tired of dealing with a self-absorbed partner and are ready to be treated with kindness, respect, and sensitivity, this book is for you.
In No More Narcissists!, psychologist Candace Love provides a road map for women to finally get the love they deserve. Using skills based in cognitive behavioral and schema therapy, you’ll gain an understanding of why you’re attracted to narcissistic men, how you can avoid being drawn in by a narcissist’s initial charm and magnetism, and how to heal so you can finally move on to healthy relationships.
You’ll find out how the basic principles of schema theory—core beliefs about ourselves and our environment that we acquire in childhood and adolescence—can play an important role in why you’re attracted to narcissists and seek them out. Also included are targeted exercises and techniques that will encourage you to examine your past relationships and take meaningful steps to promote self-care and healing.
Isn’t it time you broke the cycle of hurt, frustration, and pain that comes with loving a narcissist? This book will show you how to let go of these destructive relationships once and for all, love yourself unconditionally, and find the love you deserve.
Publié par
Date de parution
01 janvier 0001
EAN13
9781626253698
Langue
English
To my mentor Barbara Gerbert, PhD, who gave me
the opportunity to transform my life
In memory of my friend
Jean Walker, MD
To my parents,
Gust and Marie Melonas
Contents
Introduction
Linda’s Story
Chapter 1: Prince Charming or Another Frog?
We’ve All Been There: Our Struggle to Find the Happily-Ever-After
Essential Elements
Why Are We Blind to the Warning Signs of Narcissistic Men?
Core Beliefs
How Your Identity Is Shaped by Your Core Beliefs
Life Traps and Core Beliefs
How Your Life Traps Have Influenced Your Dating Choices
Parent-Child Relationships: How Life Traps and Core Beliefs Begin
Jessica’s Life Traps
Tess’s Story
How to Identify Your Core Beliefs
Putting It All Together
Chapter 2: The Frog: Understanding Narcissism and Narcissists
Echo: The Nymph Who Loved the Narcissist
Essential Elements
Popular Definition of Narcissism
What Does a Narcissist Look Like?
A Recipe for Disaster: Seeing Only What You Want
Clinical Definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Healthy Self-Love vs. Unhealthy Narcissism
Payson’s Healthy Self Continuum
Does This Man Seem Familiar?
Origins of Narcissism
The Indulging Parent
The Overprotective Parent
The Neglectful, Detached, and/or Abusive Parent
Common Threads in All Narcissists
The Insecure Little Boy
The Seesaw Phenomenon
Putting It All Together
Chapter 3: Unmet Childhood Needs: Discovering Your Story
Essential Elements
Shame and Vulnerability
The Role of Shame
The Risk of Being Vulnerable
How Children Cope: Overcompensation, Surrender, and Avoidance
Codependency
Putting It All Together
Chapter 4: A Closer Look at Life Traps
Essential Elements
Seven Life Traps and Core Beliefs Refresher
Abandonment: Clare, Kirsten, and Lynette
Clare
Kirsten
Lynette
Mistrust and Abuse: Monica, Maggie, and Kelli
Monica
Maggie
Kelli
Emotional Deprivation: Anita, Kathryn, and Vivienne
Anita
Kathryn
Vivienne
Defectiveness: Pat, Kimberly, and Trisha
Pat
Kimberly
Trisha
Subjugation: Alice, Petra, and Marty
Alice
Petra
Marty
Self-Sacrifice: Dianne, Marlene, and Lily
Dianne
Marlene
Lily
Unrelenting Standards: Jennifer, Chelsea, and Elspeth
Jennifer: Oriented to Achievement
Chelsea: Oriented to Status
Elspeth: Oriented to Compulsivity
Putting It All Together
Chapter 5: Stuck for Life?Your Life Traps in Adulthood
Essential Elements
Adult Life Traps
Abandonment: Clare, Kirsten, and Lynette
Clare
Kirsten
Lynette
Mistrust/Abuse: Monica, Maggie, and Kelli
Monica
Maggie
Kelli
Emotional Deprivation: Anita, Kathryn, and Vivienne
Anita
Kathryn
Vivienne
Defectiveness/Shame: Pat, Kimberly, and Trisha
Pat
Kimberly
Trisha
Subjugation: Alice, Petra, and Marty
Alice
Petra
Marty
Self-Sacrifice: Dianne, Marlene, and Lily
Dianne
Marlene
Lily
Unrelenting Standards: Jennifer, Chelsea, and Elspeth
Jennifer
Chelsea
Elspeth
Putting It All Together
Chapter 6: Learn to Change Your Life Traps
Essential Elements
How Behavioral Change Takes Place
Stage 1. Precontemplation
Stage 2. Contemplation
Stage 3. Preparation/Determination
Stage 4. Activation
Stage 5. Maintenance
Stage 6. Relapse
Skills to Change Your Life Traps
Mindful Breathing
Mindfulness Meditation
Realistic Thinking
How to Change Your Life Traps
Changing the Life Trap of Abandonment
Changing the Life Trap of Mistrust/Abuse
Changing the Life Trap of Emotional Deprivation
Changing the Life Trap of Defectiveness/Shame
Changing the Life Trap of Subjugation
Changing the Life Trap of Self-Sacrifice
Changing the Life Trap of Unrelenting Standards
Putting It All Together
Chapter 7: Self-Care: Becoming Your Own Fairy Godmother
Essential Elements
The Triad of Wellness
Nutrition: Eating for Health
Exercise: Working Out for Life
Sleep: Resting for Rejuvenation and Repair
Hypersomnia
Sleep Hygiene
Worry Pad
Visualization
Boundaries, Limits, and Values
Boundaries: Separation and Protection from Others
Limits: Caring for Others and Caring for Yourself
Values
Your Journey to Healing Through Self-Care
Putting It All Together
Chapter 8: Mindful Dating
Essential Elements
What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?
Mutual Respect
Reciprocity
Commitment
Communication
Mutual Trust
Healthy Boundaries
Shared Values
Flexibility
How Do You Know When It’s Time to Start Dating?
What Are the Red Flags?
How to Date Mindfully
Putting It All Together
A Few Last Thoughts…
Acknowledgments
Appendix: List of Exercises
Chapter 1—Prince Charming or Another Frog?
Chapter 2—The Frog: Understanding Narcissism and Narcissists
Chapter 4—A Closer Look at Life Traps
Chapter 5—Stuck for Life? Your Life Traps in Adulthood
Chapter 6—Learn to Change Your Life Traps
Chapter 7—Self-Care: Becoming Your Own Fairy Godmother
Chapter 8—Mindful Dating
Notes
References
Contents
Introduction
Linda’s Story
Chapter 1: Prince Charming or Another Frog?
We’ve All Been There: Our Struggle to Find the Happily-Ever-After
Essential Elements
Why Are We Blind to the Warning Signs of Narcissistic Men?
Core Beliefs
How Your Identity Is Shaped by Your Core Beliefs
Life Traps and Core Beliefs
How Your Life Traps Have Influenced Your Dating Choices
Parent-Child Relationships: How Life Traps and Core Beliefs Begin
Jessica’s Life Traps
Tess’s Story
How to Identify Your Core Beliefs
Putting It All Together
Chapter 2: The Frog: Understanding Narcissism and Narcissists
Echo: The Nymph Who Loved the Narcissist
Essential Elements
Popular Definition of Narcissism
What Does a Narcissist Look Like?
A Recipe for Disaster: Seeing Only What You Want
Clinical Definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Healthy Self-Love vs. Unhealthy Narcissism
Payson’s Healthy Self Continuum
Does This Man Seem Familiar?
Origins of Narcissism
The Indulging Parent
The Overprotective Parent
The Neglectful, Detached, and/or Abusive Parent
Common Threads in All Narcissists
The Insecure Little Boy
The Seesaw Phenomenon
Putting It All Together
Chapter 3: Unmet Childhood Needs: Discovering Your Story
Essential Elements
Shame and Vulnerability
The Role of Shame
The Risk of Being Vulnerable
How Children Cope: Overcompensation, Surrender, and Avoidance
Codependency
Putting It All Together
Chapter 4: A Closer Look at Life Traps
Essential Elements
Seven Life Traps and Core Beliefs Refresher
Abandonment: Clare, Kirsten, and Lynette
Clare
Kirsten
Lynette
Mistrust and Abuse: Monica, Maggie, and Kelli
Monica
Maggie
Kelli
Emotional Deprivation: Anita, Kathryn, and Vivienne
Anita
Kathryn
Vivienne
Defectiveness: Pat, Kimberly, and Trisha
Pat
Kimberly
Trisha
Subjugation: Alice, Petra, and Marty
Alice
Petra
Marty
Self-Sacrifice: Dianne, Marlene, and Lily
Dianne
Marlene
Lily
Unrelenting Standards: Jennifer, Chelsea, and Elspeth
Jennifer: Oriented to Achievement
Chelsea: Oriented to Status
Elspeth: Oriented to Compulsivity
Putting It All Together
Chapter 5: Stuck for Life?Your Life Traps in Adulthood
Essential Elements
Adult Life Traps
Abandonment: Clare, Kirsten, and Lynette
Clare
Kirsten
Lynette
Mistrust/Abuse: Monica, Maggie, and Kelli
Monica
Maggie
Kelli
Emotional Deprivation: Anita, Kathryn, and Vivienne
Anita
Kathryn
Vivienne
Defectiveness/Shame: Pat, Kimberly, and Trisha
Pat
Kimberly
Trisha
Subjugation: Alice, Petra, and Marty
Alice
Petra
Marty
Self-Sacrifice: Dianne, Marlene, and Lily
Dianne
Marlene
Lily
Unrelenting Standards: Jennifer, Chelsea, and Elspeth
Jennifer
Chelsea
Elspeth
Putting It All Together
Chapter 6: Learn to Change Your Life Traps
Essential Elements
How Behavioral Change Takes Place
Stage 1. Precontemplation
Stage 2. Contemplation
Stage 3. Preparation/Determination
Stage 4. Activation
Stage 5. Maintenance
Stage 6. Relapse
Skills to Change Your Life Traps
Mindful Breathing
Mindfulness Meditation
Realistic Thinking
How to Change Your Life Traps
Changing the Life Trap of Abandonment
Changing the Life Trap of Mistrust/Abuse
Changing the Life Trap of Emotional Deprivation
Changing the Life Trap of Defectiveness/Shame
Changing the Life Trap of Subjugation
Changing the Life Trap of Self-Sacrifice
Changing the Life Trap of Unrelenting Standards
Putting It All Together
Chapter 7: Self-Care: Becoming Your Own Fairy Godmother
Essential Elements
The Triad of Wellness
Nutrition: Eating for Health
Exercise: Working Out for Life
Sleep: Resting for Rejuvenation and Repair
Hypersomnia
Sleep Hygiene
Worry Pad
Visualization
Boundaries, Limits, and Values
Boundaries: Separation and Protection from Others
Limits: Caring for Others and Caring for Yourself
Values
Your Journey to Healing Through Self-Care
Putting It All Together
Chapter 8: Mindful Dating
Essential Elements
What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?
Mutual Respect
Reciprocity
Commitment
Communication
Mutual Trust
Healthy Boundaries
Shared Values
Flexibility
How Do You Know When It’s Time to Start Dating?
What Are the Red Flags?
How to Date Mindfully
Putting It All Together
A Few Last Thoughts…
Acknowledgments
Appendix: List of Exercises
Chapter 1—Prince Charming or Another Frog?
Chapter 2—The Frog: Understanding Narcissism and Narcissists
Chapter 4—A Closer Look at Life Traps
Chapter 5—Stuck for Life? Your Life Traps in Adulthood
Chapter 6—Learn to Change Your Life Traps
Chapter 7—Self-Care: Becoming Your Own Fairy Godmother
Chapter 8—Mindful Dating
Notes
References
Introduction
If you are one of the many women who find yourself in one toxic, destructive relationship after another and can’t understand why your relationships impl
